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How do you handle a 4 year old who seems to have melt downs every day and has a speech delay which causes problems.

My daughter is 4 years old and since turning three her temper tantrums have gotten worse instead of better. I have spoken to her because her pediatrician has informed me that children with speech delay when they have a melt down in increased to a higher level than children without speech delay. I try very hard to not lose my patience but sometimes I don't know what to do...

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:52 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (6)
  • I'm not understanding why you are referring to as "meltdowns".

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • O.K. it could be frustration with the speech but, has the pedi followed up with any further testing? That is the next step.
    For my children, they have sensory issues, in other words they over react or under react to normal things in the environment. For them a normal sheet feels like an ice block, but the oven feels good, to the point that they will burn themselves. Tags in shirts are like wire brushes. Swings are like rollercoasters. It might help to see when the "meltdowns" which is what we called our tantrums also occur to see if there is something in common.

    Answer by teamquinn at 1:16 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I'm confused with "increased to a higher level ..." , what increased to a higher level of what? I have two kids who had speech delays and their temper tantrums weren't any worse than my other one with out it or other kids I knew with out speech delays. Does dd get enough time with her peers to play? Even if a child is not a best friend at that age, interaction with any peers is very very important. That always set my kids off all of them when they didn't get enough peer play. ALSO, what do you say or do when YOU can't understand dd? I coded my kids w/ a short phrase and would say it quietly, gently several times each day and evenings too and it would remind my kids to get their thoughts together in their heads and speak slowly and at their comfort level. If strangers or friends, relatives or family is indicating to daugther her speech can't be understood - if she hears talk about it, that could upset.. Try my coding.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Which is she having? Meltdowns or tantrums? There is a HUGE difference.

    Have you spoken to her speech therapist to see if there is anything more to be worked on to help her communicate better?

    Is she having her meltdowns when there's a problem getting her point across? Is she simply having a tantrum because she doesn't get her way?

    Tantrum needs discipline. Meltdown, you need to figure out what the trigger is so you can help her cope.

    Answer by TiccledBlue at 9:23 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Does she only have "meltdowns" or are there other issues at hand? As stated earlier it may be what in our family refer to as as sensory overflow. My son doesn't express his feelings and his emotions build and build and then put sensory issues on top of it and his "emotional cup" overflows. Perhaps an evaluation by a developmental specialist could help?

    Answer by KaylasMiracle at 9:27 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I would have an evaluation done to see if maybe she has a touch of autisum of adhd add ext... you never know- and when you don't know you can't help! you can call your doctor and ask where to get the evaluation done or even call birth to three, even if nothing is wrong they have great stratigies and ideas that really do help..... my oldest son has gone through this and it makes me feel better knowing theirs a reason for his tempers and knowing how to handle them the right way helps alot too!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:53 AM on May. 21, 2009

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