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Adopted.

First off a bit about me.
I'm 17 years old, and I turn 18 June 2nd. I was adopted at birth, she was around 18/19 when she had me I believe. I am able to meet my birth mother when I turn 18, if I want to. I am also 37 weeks pregnant (on Friday). I would really like to meet my birth mother, I always have wanted to. My parents are supportive of what ever decision I make.
I was planning on meeting her for my 18th birthday, but this was before I found out I was pregnant. I would still love to meet her, but I'm not sure when a good time would be with a newborn? I have talked to my Mom about it and she has told me she'll help me the whole time, and if I want her there, she'll be there, if not she'll let us be alone. But in my mind, it may not be a good time to meet her right after having a baby, but WHEN is a good time with a baby.
...(continued)..

Answer Question
 
CamiiiCompasion

Asked by CamiiiCompasion at 5:52 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Adoption

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • My parents aren't sure if she still lives in las vegas (that's where i was born). They'd have to contact the lawyer to find out I think. And I live in Oregon, so I'd have to travel by plane.

    When would be a good time to see her? I don't wanna wait till I'm 19. I've been wanting to meet her my whole life.
    CamiiiCompasion

    Answer by CamiiiCompasion at 5:54 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I say, do it whenever you feel you are ready. THAT would be a good time ; )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I agree, it's when you feel ready. A suggestion, get in touch with her before you meet face to face and get to know her a bit. Letters, email, whatever works. That will give you a little familiarity before the face to face meeting.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Yeah. I'm also afraid of what she'll think of me having a daughter already, and my mom said that I didn't have to tell her/bring her.
    and I thought that was out of the question. I'm not going to hide my daughters existence from my own mother. What do you think?
    CamiiiCompasion

    Answer by CamiiiCompasion at 1:20 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Honey if your heart wants to meet her then do so. It is actually extremely common for adoptees to either have children (or father children) around the same time that their own birth parents had them - really, really common.

    My mom was 19 when she had me back in 1969. I was pregnant and had my first born when I was 19 (and relinquished her). That daughter (whom I'm in reunion with) had her first child at 18 and she is parenting.

    I would suggest for your first meeting that it just be you and your birth mom though. Maybe your adoptive mom could come along to help with the baby and be your support for after the meeting? Then, if you are comfortable you could introduce your daughter and adoptive mom to your birth mom after you've had some one on one time with your birth mom. Babies always have a way of easing tense moments and I bet your birth mom would be delighted.
    PortAngeles1969

    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 1:32 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I also say do it when your heart is ready,there is no perfect time really.Just get in contact with her first,sometimes the birth moms dont want to reunite for many reasons,so you would want to know if she is interested for sure.I was adopted at birth also,straight from the hospital.I just lost my adoptive mother in Feb.(she is the only mom in my eyes) I have thought about looking for my birth mom,but Im just afraid of what doors that would open and if it would be worth it.I really just want medical info,you know things that could be passed down to my kids. Good luck !
    4mom247

    Answer by 4mom247 at 11:03 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • PortAngeles1969 - thank you [:

    CamiiiCompasion

    Answer by CamiiiCompasion at 1:24 AM on May. 22, 2009

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