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Me and my husband are always threatening each other with divorce and he always tells me that because Im not working that they wont give my kids that they would give them to him and I dont want that is this true or is he just trying to scare me?

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MoMMyto2971

Asked by MoMMyto2971 at 7:36 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (87 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • No , men can be big on the threats. The truth is he will be paing child support and in some cases alimony.
    MACY7108

    Answer by MACY7108 at 7:40 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • He is just trying to scare you, don't fall for it. Agree with the above.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • To get your kids he'd have to prove you haven't in the past, don't presently take care of your kids. You probably have good proof of how much you physically take care of your kids through your peds records of well and sick visits. Most likely you've taken them in and care for them in sicknesses, not him. Those records are proof for you. Are they in day care or school, who takes them picks them up? Simply not working to earn money is not a legal reason for the other parent to get custody. I'd try counselling for yourself and maybe with husband too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • The only way I know he would be able to get the kids is if he could prove you unfit. My hubby tried to tell me that they would give him the kids one time too when we got in an arrgument about something, but it isn't true. He also tried telling me though that they don't have where you have to give the mom money anymore you can buy diapers and food yourself for the baby (the guy instead of child suport) and that isn't true either. Not only that if a guy tried getting custody of there child they would send them back in about a week lol they wouldn't be able to handle what us mom's go through everyday with the kids lol
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 7:56 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • It's typically the one threat they know will work.
    Would you have somewhere to live with the kids? Able to pay the bills until after alimony or child support kick in? In my case for years we lived in a home my husband bought before we got married so I wouldn't have had anywhere to go with them.
    Whoever has the children would have to have a way to feed and take care of their basic needs, and the other parent would have to supply some child support/alimony (where they have it) but all of that takes time to kick in and I can assure you that neither parent is going to pay it until they have something in writing unless they're exceptional people.
    A lot of states still are but most used to be a woman's state, but now it's all in the best interest of the children. Put every penny you can back and if it ever does come to one of you leaving, you run as fast as you can get there to a lawyer first and get temporary custody.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:00 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • No, he wouldn't automatically get the kids. It is more common that men are getting joint custody though. And they don't have to prove you unfit. Judges are seeing that these are THEIR children too and they have just as much right to them.

    I think another issue you need to think of is that you guys are going around threatening divorce all the time. What do you think that is doing to these poor kids. And I'm sure you'll say "We don't say it in front of them." Well, my parents divorced when I was 3. I am 30 and still remember the screaming, yelling, fighting, and the threats.
    almostcrazee

    Answer by almostcrazee at 8:02 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • The courts usually side with the mother. Your husband would have to prove you were unfit in order to take the kids. He will however have to pay you alamony and child support, considering you are not working at this time and he is the primary bread winner.......
    Tina
    Tinamarie79

    Answer by Tinamarie79 at 8:31 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • No, as a matter of fact depending on if your state does either alimony or spousal support that actually would entitle you to more of it so you can get on your feet since you have been a stay at home mom. He is either just uneducated on the matter or trying to scare you or both. You would have to get a job but he would also be responsible for half of daycare expenses on top of child support as well. If this is actually a fear of yours maybe you should star planning now, get a job now and start saving money.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on May. 21, 2009

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