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Attitude. Does anyone else have this problem with their kids?

I have a 9 year old daughter who thinks she can do no wrong! She has attitude and yells at everyone in the house. When she gets in trouble somehow it is always someone elses fault. I have punished her with everything possible I can think of and I am out of ideas. Does anyone else have this problem with their kids?

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KathMW

Asked by KathMW at 8:01 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • My son is only 4 but he has attitude and blames everyone else for what he's done wrong. I make him own up to it. I tell him that even if someone tells him to do it he decides if he's going to do it or not. Just like when I tell him to wash his hands and he decides to not do it! The choice it his and so are the consequences. When something has happened I walk him through it. I ask him who decided to take his favourite toy out of his room. Him. I ask him who decided to not listen to me when I told him to take it back after he was done playing with it. Him. I keep asking related questions until he comes to the realization that it was his choices that lead to his toy being lost.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:15 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • OH MY GOSH, do I ever?!?!? My 10 year old drives me nuts. I tell her all the time that if a grown woman were to talk to me the way she does we'd be outside duking it out. lol. I wish I knew what to tell you. I have trouble dealing with this every single day. Recently we've begun stripping her room. Eventually she'll have nothing but pillows and blankets. So far she has lost her tv accessories, then her tv itself, then her radio. Next comes her toybox, after that her bed. IDK what else to do. She is getting a little better though. (ALso, she had her first period last week, so I think that is a HUGE part of our problems.) Good luck.
    almostcrazee

    Answer by almostcrazee at 8:17 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I have a 13 year old son that loves to argue! Or I'm sorry, as he calls it, "debate" LOL Because I'm always wrong and he knows everything don't ya know! Ugh! So for any mom of a tween, you have my heartfelt sympathy. I don't know when it will get better and I"m so sorry I don't have advice either, I just try to roll with it and pick my battles. He isn't over the top mouthy, so that is good. But I still think he loves to hear his own voice. Just know they're going through hormonal changes, set boundaries and stick to them, and hang on ladies, you're in for a bumpy ride!
    MonkeyMomma07

    Answer by MonkeyMomma07 at 8:31 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • i have a almost 10 yr old daughter and yes i go through the same thing and it is crazy sometimes not that i let her by with it but i try to remember what it feels like to have your hormones raging with all the emotions..I'm a adult and don't know how to deal with it a lot of times much less a child...i take away privileges..sports,TV,video games etc. but when it get really bad i get creative with the privileges..nothing to drink but milk and water no condiments on their food,and give more chores it really sounds harsh but it does work for me

    little_momma_5

    Answer by little_momma_5 at 9:14 AM on May. 21, 2009


  • Have an 11year old soon to be 12 with the same problem,and I found out he was being bullied in school by a fifteen year old,so sometimes it is misplaced ag rression and
    sal301

    Answer by sal301 at 11:13 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I agree a lot with AmandaH321 but also we have found out to check and see if they are being bullied at school. This is not a reason to come home and bullie, make sure they know this. We have stripped rooms and sold whatever they did not earn back after a time limit, to pay for the storage and abuse. It sounds harsh but it works. Remember what you teach them now is how they will act like as adults.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I've said it before, but I'm completely serious. The only punishment that has worked effectively and consistently with my daughter (9) is to take away her priviledge of choosing her own clothes. She is very fashion-aware and hates not having that control. I'll dress her in plain t-shirts with plain jeans and send her to school. She prefers her Hannah Montana shirts, printed jeans, cute skirts and dresses, and of course all the accessories.
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 7:14 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • We find that taking away priveleges works best with our 13 year old; no TV, putting a temporary stop to text messaging, etc.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:07 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I found out a very hard way that when a child does not accept responsibility for his actions it is SOMETIMES because he is afraid that if he accepts the fact that he is not perfect the ones he loves the most may not love him as much as they love others........My grandson was left at 3mths old by his mom he is my son now has been since 3 mths. He has been in counseling at 6 years he couldn't admit he broke a toy he would cry because the toy broke itself when it fell off the table....He would get so mad at the toy...So after a few mths of therapy the dr. he wants to be perfect so everybody family,teachers,friends neighbors even strangers would accept him as perfect...so nobody would find any fault in him..He was begining to try to figure out why mom didn't want him.....So maybe your daughter is trying to hard to please you? just maybe let her know mom does her best I hope you will do your best thats all we can do...........Lacy
    lacylady

    Answer by lacylady at 11:39 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I had this problem for a while and found my solution not sure how well it works for others but... I got tired of the yelling and competition when my teen acts out it is an immediate SHHH time and I send her to her room she will rant and rave all the way there and in her room, then I tell her not to come out until she calms down and stops with the ranting... Once she comes out if she starts again I just ignore her and send her back into her room. Fact is, they will prefer to yell and argue if it is permitted, it does take awhile but once they find out the only way you listen is if they stop the yelling, they eventually stop, on most occasions lol
    TheFriskyKitty

    Answer by TheFriskyKitty at 8:36 AM on May. 22, 2009

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