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Asked to surrogate said no, may be pregnant?

Okay girls, I don't know yet if I am actually pregnant, it was the 15th when we, well you know, so I'm waiting to see if I am not. I don't think having another baby would be a great idea right now, but obviously I couldn't just get rid of it. And really, what's one more? I sort of like the idea of having a baby around again.
Anyhow, my sister in law can not concieve she has had a historectomy for health reasons and would like very much for me to carry her husband's baby for them. I really would love to but said no because I have had horrible experiences with my pregnancies and was unstable emotionally for a while. If I do happen to be pregnant I feel like I'll be being a jerk for lack of better words, and feel guilty having a baby when they can't.
What do you all think?

 
momofkearra

Asked by momofkearra at 8:43 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Health

Level 8 (251 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I had a sister in law who had like 6 miscarriages during the time I had my 4 children when I was married to my ex. I felt awful. She would always ask between pregnancies are you having another one. Like I said it made me feel awful for her. If you are let her know it was a suprise. She should understand. Really she should have asked someone outside the family that could cause problems down the line.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 8:48 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I feel for you as far as the guilt of being pregnant when they can't. I hated telling my boss at work when I was pregnant, had to do that twice. She wanted to have a baby, tried fertility drugs and ivf was too expensive for them and their chances were extremely low anyway. Adoptions was out of the question for them. In a group convo. I said that I had to do a pregnancy test before having another procedure. She made a comment about me being prego already because I haden't even been married one month. Really sucked to tell her a few days later that I was pregnant in a matter of days when she'd been trying years with no results.
    I understand where you're coming from with your emotional health. I got depression my last pregnancy, would love to have more kids but I'm in no way emotionally ready and I'm afraid of regressing or getting worse.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:53 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Yeah I would feel terrible too. There's nothing you can do about it though if you are. She asked a very large favor of you and most people would say no. I hope she's able to find someone though. That's got to be tough!
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 8:58 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Thank you girls, it helps to vent a little and have someone say it's all going to be okay! It was a real honor for her to ask me, and I will always feel guilty if I do find out that I am pregnant, but there isn't much I can really do about it.
    momofkearra

    Answer by momofkearra at 9:04 AM on May. 21, 2009

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