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Asked to surrogate said no, may be pregnant?

Okay girls, I don't know yet if I am actually pregnant, it was the 15th when we, well you know, so I'm waiting to see if I am not. I don't think having another baby would be a great idea right now, but obviously I couldn't just get rid of it. And really, what's one more? I sort of like the idea of having a baby around again.
Anyhow, my sister in law can not concieve she has had a historectomy for health reasons and would like very much for me to carry her husband's baby for them. I really would love to but said no because I have had horrible experiences with my pregnancies and was unstable emotionally for a while. If I do happen to be pregnant I feel like I'll be being a jerk for lack of better words, and feel guilty having a baby when they can't.
What do you all think?


Asked by momofkearra at 8:43 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Health

Level 8 (251 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I had a sister in law who had like 6 miscarriages during the time I had my 4 children when I was married to my ex. I felt awful. She would always ask between pregnancies are you having another one. Like I said it made me feel awful for her. If you are let her know it was a suprise. She should understand. Really she should have asked someone outside the family that could cause problems down the line.

    Answer by okmommy08 at 8:48 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I feel for you as far as the guilt of being pregnant when they can't. I hated telling my boss at work when I was pregnant, had to do that twice. She wanted to have a baby, tried fertility drugs and ivf was too expensive for them and their chances were extremely low anyway. Adoptions was out of the question for them. In a group convo. I said that I had to do a pregnancy test before having another procedure. She made a comment about me being prego already because I haden't even been married one month. Really sucked to tell her a few days later that I was pregnant in a matter of days when she'd been trying years with no results.
    I understand where you're coming from with your emotional health. I got depression my last pregnancy, would love to have more kids but I'm in no way emotionally ready and I'm afraid of regressing or getting worse.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 8:53 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Yeah I would feel terrible too. There's nothing you can do about it though if you are. She asked a very large favor of you and most people would say no. I hope she's able to find someone though. That's got to be tough!

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 8:58 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Thank you girls, it helps to vent a little and have someone say it's all going to be okay! It was a real honor for her to ask me, and I will always feel guilty if I do find out that I am pregnant, but there isn't much I can really do about it.

    Answer by momofkearra at 9:04 AM on May. 21, 2009