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standard visitation?

My husband and I are getting a divorce and he seems to think that he will be granted the right to keep our 9 month old for half the time and I have been told that standard visitation for a child that young is several hours one week night and all day one weekend day but they have to be back one hour before bed time. Does anyone know if that is true?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:22 AM on May. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • If you are breastfeeding his visitation rights will be even less.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Talk to your attorney - it varies from state to state and even from county to county. There is no "standard." And as for breastfeeding causing less visitation, most courts will disagree - that's what pumps and bottle are for - building a secure relationship with dad takes precedence over feeding at the breast when it can be pumped and bottled and sent with dad.
    JPsMommy605

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 9:32 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • It depends on where you live really. Many states have standard vistation but the parents can also decide if they can agree on times and present it to the court for approval. Check the internet or ask your lawyer for your states practices.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:39 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • It depends on the state you live in, the attorneys you both have and the judge. Do NOT assume anything, strange things have happened. Talk to an attorney and don't listen to others that have no idea, every situation is different.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:21 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • We split up when my child was 6 months. My husband and I agreed to shared custody. Our child needed both of us it seemed cruel to keep my husband away from our baby. I pumped milk and came over in the evening to nurse and bring more pumped milk. It was not easy for me but I am not selfish and realize our child needed both of us. When you split up it is not about you it is about the child. I loved my child more than I disliked my ex he thankfully felt the same way. Our son is 7 years old and still spends half his time with his dad and half with me. We live two blocks from each other so he can attend school and still keep our custody agreement easily. I wished more would put the childs interests over their selfish desires.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • We split up when my child was 6 months. My husband and I agreed to shared custody. Our child needed both of us it seemed cruel to keep my husband away from our baby. I pumped milk and came over in the evening to nurse and bring more pumped milk. It was not easy for me but I am not selfish and realize our child needed both of us. When you split up it is not about you it is about the child. I loved my child more than I disliked my ex he thankfully felt the same way. Our son is 7 years old and still spends half his time with his dad and half with me. We live two blocks from each other so he can attend school and still keep our custody agreement easily. I wished more would put the childs interests over their selfish desires.

    I agree 110% with you mama! Kudos to both of you for doing what is truly in your child's best interest!
    Loryl

    Answer by Loryl at 10:52 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • That breastfeeding excuse won't fly past 12 months of age. Most courts consider 12 months old to be the "average weaning time" or something along those lines.

    That being said, your husband could easily ask for joint custody. I don't blame him. Just because you two aren't married anymore doesn't mean he should be forced to only see his child one weeknight per week and every other weekend! That would suck. To be in a child's life fuill-time then be reduced to seeing his child very little is just plain wrong.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Don't be like the mother on "Mrs. Doubtfire" who hated her husband so much that she made the courts only let him see the kids on Saturday. She was a beotch. It's only a movie, but I think what what woman did was beyond cruel. Those kids loved their daddy and missed being with him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • "To be in a child's life full-time then be reduced to seeing his child very little is just plain wrong."

    Here, Here! And it will affect the relationship between dad and child. It is hard to be "all the parent you can be" like when you are living with the child when you don't even have your child in your life for 50% of the time. It changes the relationship, and usually not for the better. I know a lot of people will say that it can be done, that a non custodial father can be just the same as one living in the home, but that is really very very rare, and you cannot blame the individual when the situation is not conducive to fostering a good parent/child relationship.

    And as much as I am a supporter of BFing, I feel that in situations where the child is being ripped from a two parent home then it is more important for the child to get to have 50/50 and a bottle of breast milk rather than the breast, or even formula (cont)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • if it were to come down to it. The idea behind this being that a child cannot thrive without both parents truly being in their lives, given that both parents are loving and responsible. So ensuring that a child continue to EBF, or not have formula (because some say that on formula a kid may infact survive, but not thrive) isn't doing them any favors if you are trading one extremely crucial component to thriving for another, which would be taking away their father for the vast majority of their life in order for them to have the breast.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on May. 21, 2009

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