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we teach children

Not to do all kinds of things. The message of don't do it is all over. Don't drink, Don't smoke and don't do drugs. All for a very good reason, it's not good for them. But we all know that that the curiosity for most gets the best of them. So with that mind set why don't we allow them to under supervision after all they are just going to anyway? We tell them all the time with sex why not other things? With this mind set we should just let them do whatever they want. Forget the consequenses. Really think about it. ( drat no spell check here)

 
oldermomof5

Asked by oldermomof5 at 9:23 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 17 (3,449 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (39)
  • For me, it's not about telling my children don't do this, or don't do that. It's about educating them about the consequences of doing this or doing that. I will not promote bad behavior just so they could try it and get it out of their system, however I will let them make their own choices. I will not be there when my sons are in a situation where they could drink or do drugs or have sex, but hopefully by that time, they will be aware of the consequences of doing such things, and will choose not to. I wont use scare tactics, like the false advertisements you see on tv. I will offer them the bare facts, and real life scenarios to educate them. That is what a parent's job is. To give your children the tools to make the right choices, not to make them for him.
    my2.5boys

    Answer by my2.5boys at 2:36 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Interesting concept. However, I just cannot in good conscience let my child do something I know will harm them,and possibly cause a life-long addiction,that will lead to their eventual, painful,tortous death. That's be the same, IMO to telling my 15 year old, "yeah,go ahead and ride your skateboard into that brick wall,you want to,so why not?" "Forget about the fact you will probably have permanent brain damage, or die,but as long as it's what you want to do,and I'm here to watch, it's fine." Please know, I'm really not trying to be ugly,or undermind what you are saying in your post, but that's just the way I see it.
    stvmen88

    Answer by stvmen88 at 9:26 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • My point exactly. There so many drastic consequences that sex outside of marriage can cause. no matter how "careful" you are.

    oldermomof5

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 9:30 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • OIC! Great way to make your point. Now I see what you are saying.
    stvmen88

    Answer by stvmen88 at 9:31 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I will NEVER supervise my children doing drugs, having sex, vandalizing, drung driving etc....That is condoning it. Yes, some of that stuff they might try, but the difference between supervision and consequences is that when you "let" a child do that kind of crap, you are teaching them that is ok, and we are raising our children to be adults, RESPONSIBLE adults, and the only way they learn is by accepting consequences for poor decisions
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:34 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • I think there are clearly things that should be off limits. I think a parents job is to teach children what to do in circumstances. Not everyone tries those substances, but an overwhelming majority will try drinking and smoking. I think it is important to give kids words and easy outs when they find themselves in a situation. At a party they are passing the joint..teens need a rehearsed line for that situation...like: "If you knew my dad, then you know he would kick my a** if I got caught No way man..he'll kill me!" Anything that they already have a plan in place. If you are somewhere and drinking what are options for getting home safe. If you need out how can you call your parents and get to the corner for a secret ride home. Do you have a code that allows them to call you? Do I would rather teach my dd the dangers of drugs and smoking and how to drink resposibly..but Im not going to "allow" It at home til shes in college.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:35 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Twisted concept.

    Your job as a parent is to raise your children not to facilitate illegal acts. Try to give an under age alcohol and you will land your ass in jail. The reason for it is simple: A parent has his children best interest at heart or should have. In what world would a parent not see the twisted logic you suggested?
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 9:47 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Actually it's not illegal to let your child have alcohol in your own home, it's illegal for you to give it to other underage drinkers. But growing up I remember being allowed to have a glass of wine with dinner on special occasions, or after a freezing day of ice skating my dad would make us hot chocolate with peppermint schnapps in it, my brother and I never grew up to be heavy drinkers and we didn't think for one second that it was ok for us to get drunk at a party somehwere else
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:50 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Yet, you grow up to think for a second that it is okay to be a permissive parent, like I said twisted logic in my opinion.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 9:52 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • my family (extended family) always did the "as long as your drinking here and smoking pot here you wont get in trouble thing", i dont agree with letting anyone under the age 21 drink, and i dont agree with smoking pot at all...but it did work for my family, all my cousins (25 of them) had the drinking and smoking pot fazeover by the time they were 19.of course they are all over 21 now and have a drink on occasions, but they dont drink all the time now....no idea how that worked out but im pretty sure it had to do with their parents being alcoholics and drug addicts...

    necro1134

    Answer by necro1134 at 9:58 AM on May. 21, 2009

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