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Guy Friends

Im a single mom. I have a guy friend that i spend alot of time with. I know he wants more out of this relationship but I don't. I have expressed this to him numerous times but he says he just wants to be friends. I keep getting the feeling that he is waiting for me to change my mind but Im not going to. He is one of my best friends...do I leave things as is? worried about breaking his heart when i date someone esle. Do I end friendship now so he can never say I was leading him on? I am really careful to keep a wall up and not let him do stuff for me. I almost always pay for my own meal when we go out...I just don't know??

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on May. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I don't think you could be considered leading him on. You have told him that you aren't interested in him romantically numerous times. It's his fault if he's holding out for more. It seems like you're doing the right thing, ie paying for your own meals, etc. Do what you feel most comfortable with. If he's your best friend, then stay in the friendship. If you start dating someone, then let your friend figure out a way to deal with it. If it's too tough to remain friends with him, then sit down and have a talk with him explaining your position and how it makes you feel.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 10:18 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • He may be the one for you. Test the waters - you never know.
    LuvBug3

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 10:17 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Keep being friends and don't close the door on a relationship with him. A lot of great relationships start out as the couple being friends.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:18 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • LOL we have been intimate, but I ended that and told him I dont want a "freind with benefit relationship". I know he is not what I want. No doubt in my mind...im only interested in friendship. He has 3 kids that I don't want to deal with...just a mess and he's just not what Im holding out for...no chance of there being anything there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • Keep being friends with him.. And enjoy his friendship to the fullest! If he ever starts crossing the line or anything let him know you just want to be friends. thats it! If you happen to date someone else then do it.. He will have to get over it because he knows your just friends.. Let your guard down!!! He may be a great guy to date but your not letting it happen! Let your relationship grow into whatever its suppose to be! It may just be a great friendship, it may be more!

    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 10:29 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • It's hard to go back to just friends after having a "friends with benefits" thing.
    You're clear on what you want and need from the relationship so don't be afraid to date, he knows that likely someday you will.
    I married my best friend but if you're not wanting any chance of that with him, then I'm not sure what to tell you other than keep being straight, paying for your own things.. maybe slow down how much time you spend with him so that he might meet the woman for him? Ask him if he's dating anyone, got anyone he's interested in, and mention people you're interested in.
    People can be friends after sex, but it's not real common for both of them to be completely able to forget the feelings they once had.
    I'd start dating and see how he reacts.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:57 AM on May. 21, 2009

  • If he knows up front that you are only interested in being friends, and that you will date someone should he come along, then no. He is either not hearing you or chosing to ignore you and wast his time anyway. He will eventually get it or let you go.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:22 PM on May. 21, 2009