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Sister and I are both pregnant and mom is playing MAJOR favoritism. It hurts. How should I handle this?

My sister & I are due only a few days apart. My mom is hurting me. We went shopping last week & she bought my sister a ton of baby clothes & then she told me she was buying this pack of bibs for me but when we got back to her house she took one of the bibs, gave it to me & gave the rest to sister.

She's also paid for all my sisters larger items. When our other sister asked what to get me my mom told her a couple of outfits & when she asked what to get my sister she said her her pack-n-play.

It's really not about the "stuff." I mean I can provide for my baby & I don't need any one else to buy things but the clear favoritism is really hurtful. To me it feels like she's showing favoritism between our babies.

I just don't want our kids to see the favoritism one day. You know?

My step mom has noticed her doing this and it's pissing her off so it's not just me.

How should I handle this? Or should I just ignore it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on May. 21, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (14)
  • I would just ignore it, but that is me.

    I am sorry she is acting like that.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 1:42 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • You said that you can provide for you baby. Is your sister maybe in a financial bind where she cant? Perhaps your mother knows that you are financially stable, and maybe she isn't. Other than that, I just wouldn't want her to buy anything for me. I would just tell her not to worry about it, and then if she asks why you don't want anything, just tell her that you are concerned about the favoritism, and that you don't want it to affect how your baby and your niece/nephew are going to be treated.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 1:48 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • No my sister can provide for her baby. She hasn't had to because everything has been handed to her but she can.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Im sry your going through this i know it hurts. Im due in july and i just found out the reason my mom is going to come out to see me and my baby is because my sister is going to be only a few hours away. For me everyone is making coming out to see me my husband and our first baby a side trip to going to see someone else and it hurts. I hope things get better for you. =) congrats on your pregnancy

    Answer by Shelii at 1:53 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Why? IS she married and you're not or something? Is there something that maybe makes your mom think your sister is more (or less) prepared and so she's favoring her? Do you already have kids and this is her first? There must be some reason. Regardless, it's rude and insensitive but maybe she doesn't realize it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I'm married and she's not. I do already have a child that is 2 but I don't really think that makes it OK. My step mom has been completely equal with both of us, not only in baby items, but in conversations and opportunities.

    I don't know. I mean my mom isn't exactly one for thinking of other so I'm sure it has something to do with what she can get out of it such as her hands on my sis's baby and she knows that's not going to happen here but it's still frustrating.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Is this your first? Is this your sisters first?

    I don't know what to tell you. I just know that it would definitely hurt me! very upsetting!

    Answer by SandraRh at 2:18 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Could it be that your sister is less able than you think?
    Like others have said it still doesn't make it right! Sounds horrible.

    But if definitely sounds as though since this is your second and her first(?) then she may feel that you already have most everything you need. Plus if you are married and she is not then your mom may feel that your sister has less ability to afford things.

    but no matter how you look at it...doesn't seem very fair or nice

    Answer by SandraRh at 2:22 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Have you asked your mom about it? Maybe she needs to know strait out how you feel? I would ask her why it seems like she is playing sides and that it hurts. If your mom doesn't seem to get it then, i would just let it go. I'm sorry your going through this but some people just don't care. Good luck and Congrats on the pregnancy!

    Answer by jnsdrf at 2:22 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • That's probably it, your mom is thinking "oh she already has a baby and knows what she needs so I don't need to help her." As the middle of three girls, I always felt left out or like my parents cared for me less but then a friend pointed out that maybe the fact that I am so self-sufficient made my parents concentrate more on my other sisters. It's true, of both my sisters I am the most independent and the only one who doesn't live in our hometown near our family. I just needed them less and t hey knew it. THat's probably how your mom feels, I bet she'd be shocked to learn that you feel neglected.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on May. 21, 2009

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