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If you have an open marriage, what are the rules?

This is not a place to bash people for their relationship choices; I'm just curious about what groundrules different couples have set (if any).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on May. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • i dont see the point in an open marriage, if you want to have relations with someone other than your husband or wife, then dont get married
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I understand a couple wanting an open marrage, but I REALLY think they were like that before they actually walked down the Isle and said there "I DO's".
    Personally I have learned (from a couple I know) that they got married for the conpainonship, friendship, and support and even love. They Love eachother very much, but were always hypersexual persons. They swing, go out, have multipul partner sex and so on and so fourth.. sex is sex, making love is making love-
    They make love to eachother, but F#$% others.
    IN the end there really is no rules other than the fact that they come home everynight.
    they love eachother very much and want to be with eachother for the rest of there lives, but they dont feel the need to "bound' there sexualiy!
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 10:05 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I had an open marriage one time. All I asked is that he didn't give someone else time he promised to me and the kids. I knew I couldn't stop him from cheating so just let him run amuck. He couldn't even give me that so I left. Now I have an open relationship but that's different bc we are not married. The only thing I tell this one is to not bring home an std! Many times we really love these guys but some just cheat and we can't stop them so we accept it. It's not as horrible when they tell you about it as opposed to sneaking around and making you look stupid bc everyone knows but you. This way you know what's going on. You are in control of your own life (not his). Since we don't want to give up the good to deal with the bad, we stay and let them do their thing. When the bad overcomes the good then it's time to walk away.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:10 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • i have never heard of an open marriage. that seems like a total oxymoron to me. i guess if you like sharing your man with countless other women that's fine but i thought the point of "marriage" was 2 people devoting themselves to each other and only each other. i understand open relationships but once you take the step to marriage i think you should be saying "hey i want to be with you and only you"

    r_elizabeth2290

    Answer by r_elizabeth2290 at 10:25 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • OP HERE: Evidently no one bothered to read the statement underneath the question. I didn't ask the questions so people could bash the idea of open marriage, I asked the question out of curiousity for what the rules are for people who actually have an open marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • my ex and I had one of those.. not a marriage, but an open relationship... we were young and cared about one another, but didn't want to commit until we tested the fields... well jealousy took over, and we ended up splitting because of it.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:04 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I don't get the point of having an "open marriage", I guess that is what we call "swingers" and I do not understand why you would be married and have relationships like that. If you have to go outside your marriage for good or exciting sex, why take the risk of getting STDs or actually falling for another person while legally married? Just asking because I really don't understand the point at all.
    army_wife2000

    Answer by army_wife2000 at 11:48 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • i didn't see any bashing. just opinions. i personally oppose the idea of open marriage i think it's silly but no one was saying people are horrible for doing this. if you can't take constructive criticism don't ask the question
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • i don't have a open marriage but my husband has told me he feels as if he were pushed into our marriage so he basically told me he wants to go out 1 night a week with the men?? but i told him
    if you sleep with a girl don't bother about coming home ever again since i didn't marry a man for that and if you do come home and i found out i am filing for a divorce taking our kids an getting the hell out of there only because i am faithful to him an there is no reason to be getting sex somewhere else with who ever because that is what i am here for an he agreed to it no women just him an his men friends drink party hang out an then the next morming he is right here but now he cant cuz his job moved him up an now he aint got much time for that crap but being overly jealous doesn't help no marriage i should know i am one of those women sucks to say but i am letting him get it out of his system good luck
    ohmama213

    Answer by ohmama213 at 11:53 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • OP HERE: I don't have an open marriage, but my question was directed towards people who do have open marriages, and so far most of the answers have been from people who want to explain why the don't like these types of relationships or don't get these types of relationships. I feel that if the question doesn't apply to you, why stop in and put your two cents worth?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on May. 21, 2009

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