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When did you have your first "mama bear" moment with your mil?

My first was when my daughter was two weeks old. My husband's aunt invited us over for lunch, and invited my mil too. My mil walked in the door, and immediately reached out her hands for me to hand my baby off to her! No way! I told her "Not right now" and walked right past her. That kind of stuff pisses me off. She could have and should have ASKED to hold her.

I did let her hold her, but when I was READY to let her. I may have been wrong, but after carrying my baby for 39 weeks, I was totally bonded with and protective of my baby.

It's not a major mama bear moment, but I think it counts!

What about you lovely mommies?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on May. 21, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (24)
  • I stood up, removed my son from the table and told my MIL that if she couldn't respect my wishes as a parent, then she would be allowed to come and see my children in my house with my rules. There had been a few smaller issues up until then, and I guess you could say that this was the straw that broke the camel's back. They are a lot more considerate of our wishes now. The only thing really now is they come down on my husband so hard and have no courtesy when it comes to making plans.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:12 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • When my daughter was 3 weeks old, my MIL insisted that I start her on cereal and mix in some egg yolk. I freaked!
    I told her I was exclusively breastfeeding and cereal would start when my pediatrician advised...and no yolks EVER! Wow...was she upset.
    After that, the eggs were hidden or thrown away for months when she came over!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • When dd was playing with her toy piano using her left hand and MIL was like "no use your right hand." I said, my daughter will use any hand she is comfortable with and if she's left handed, well then she is left handed. They also complain that she sucks her left thumb. Get with the times people, it's bad to try to train a leftie to be a rightie.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 11:01 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Both sides of the family have huge risks for diabetes. I try very hard to watch what the kids eat because of that. I know a lot of it is genetic, but I can help do my part too. My children get sweets, but I limit them a lot. One night, my son was about 3, we went over for dinner and had pork chops with apricot glaze and sugared strawberries. So, in me and my husband's opinion, we were done giving more sugar that night. So then she gave my son a slice of cherry pie with whipped cream and I told him he couldn't eat it, he had already had too much. She laughed at me and pushed the plate toward him. That was it. I was angry.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:06 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • OP

    So Mom1Stepmom1...what did you do??

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • OP again (lol)

    I said I DID let her hold her. I let her hold her when I was ready to. It's MY baby. I carried her in MY womb for almost 10 months, I gave birth to her. And my dh agreed with me wholeheartedly. Even HE said she should have asked.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • Well she is yours you are right. But believe me baby you will have her for a very long time. I am seem to come off kinda rude. But I mean it kinda seem like you are being selfish. I mean I would never do that to my mil ever. That's just respect. My mil can be a pain pain pain. I don't know I mean situations can be nasty and bad. I guess everyone has forgot about there grandmas. This is a part of what they do. They want to hold the babies. Fill them with sugar. My grandma didn't even make me eat dinner. I got to cereal. What about when its your turn. Would you want any of those things to happen to you. Cause life does run in a circle. Karma is no joke. I am not saying that there are not mil that are huge pains but yours is like a walk in the park.


    Answer by akmami0f4 at 11:21 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • We were living with my MIL when I had my oldest son. When I got out of the hospital I decided to stay at my mom's who lived only about a mile away for about three days. My mom's house didn't have stairs, and MIL's had not only stairs to where I was living, but also upstairs to the shared Kitchen. She came to my mom's house every day that I was there for at least a half hour if not a bit longer to see the baby. I was pissed and so was my mom, since I lived with her and the three days was for my mom and sisters to get some time with the little guy. The next time happened a couple days after I came home. My husband came home from work and immediatly told me that I needed to start taking our son up to his mother so she could bond with him. I told him the hell I was and if he kept pushing the matter I was moving out and in with my parents. There were many times this women caused problems and acting like my son was her's.

    Answer by SlapHappi at 11:26 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • I wish I had had this grandma that every one talks about. My grandmother made me work in the garden and eat my vegetables. My mother and my father both still ask me if it is okay if they give the kids treats or buy them toys. I guess we just grew up differently. One summer, while my parents were moving from this apartment to the house they bought (the rent on the apartment was up before the house was ready and they stayed in a hotel for a week in the interim), we stayed with our grandma. All of our friends were jealous because they assumed it would be this fun filled, sugar laden, carefree summer. No, nothing like that at all. We got up at 5 am, made our own breakfast, helped tend the animals, made lunch, did "lessons" so we didn't lose everything over the summer, and were in bed by 8 every night. That's the way my mother was raised and that's the way my grandmother thought it should be done.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 11:41 PM on May. 21, 2009

  • when my little girl was 5 weeks old we were having sea food for dinner and my mil and fil were trying to give her shrimp i asked them a couple of times to stop because not only is she only 5 weeks old but lots of ppl are allergic to seafood when they didnt stop i loaded her up and left my dh tried to tell me i was inthe wrong for doing what i did i dont believe i was it was at least 2 months before they got to see her agian and 3 months before he admitted he was in the wrong ans should have backed me up

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on May. 21, 2009