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Do you feel guilty for working fulltime?...

I just got promoted to fulltime at my work, and my son is 2, on the weekends he usually goes to either my moms or his aunts or something, but now that im fulltime, he goes there for the weekend and then during the week my mom has him till i get off work(im with kids all day and irritating moms, im a photographer.. THATS NOT EASY), these past few days i have just felt like crap. My son hasnt wanted to go to bed, because "he wants to see mommy".. and i started BAWLING!!!!!! Cus i feel like hes getting separation issues.. (His dad peaced out..hes a LoSeR) But in a way i think its made me want to take him places and go outside and play more, and he loves it.. (i was a SAHM) and just cus ur home all day doesn't mean thats easy.. its actually quite depressing. But what is your thoughts on this. and please dont be rude.

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Asked by HaviksMum at 12:53 AM on May. 22, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Why does he need to stay the weekend just b/c you work full-time? I work full-time and still manage to have my kids 7 days a week

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • because i live about a half hour away from my mom, and work a half hour away from my work, and here lately we havent had much money for gas and everything. and i dont have my license yet. and my man works the late shift on the weekends and i work early. so we have no way to get him, my mom as well dont have the gas. and honestly that wasnt my question.

    Answer by HaviksMum at 1:32 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • I felt guilty ONCE, when I got my mother's day card this year, because he wrote about how much he misses me. I'm currently working two jobs, so I'm at work seven days a week. We get weekday mornings together, weekend mornings and early afternoons, and weekday evenings.

    I felt guilty about being gone so much, and the woman in my mirror told me to stop being silly and get on with life because I'm doing what needs to be done. I'd feel worse if I couldn't afford to feed him.

    So I moved on. Guilt is for murderers, not moms. I don't believe in wasting my time or emotional energy on it.

    Not to say it's not natural. Of course it is. I'm probably more unnatural because I shove it back in a corner and forget it.

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:41 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • No I do not. I am working to provide a home for my dd. We all do what we have to do, that's part of being a mom...when I have a day off or a different schedule for the day, I make sure that I spend some time with her doing things she likes, playing at the park, going to the slide park (indoor play area at a local mall) going out for lunch...I try to make the time we spend special. Like you, my parents watch her while I work. I think it is good when they are with family. I don't think you should feel guilty for working full time. Lots of Moms do it...

    Answer by TatersMom2006 at 1:58 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • When my first son was a baby, I think I missed most of his first year. I'd drop him off at daycare by 7:30am while I went to school, then pick him up by 4pm. Straight from there I'd take him to my mom's house and wouldn't be back there until almost 9pm cuz I was doing night school to catch up on some credits. Then Friday-Sunday I never saw him because I worked 8pm-8am and by time I got off work I was so tired I had to go home, and sleep so I could either go back to work or school the next day. That entire year I felt horrible, and wish I would've just spent the time watching my son grow up. I stay home with both my kids now, and really enjoy it!!!!

    Answer by ShiningStar24 at 2:01 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • I work full time while my DH stays at home. I absolutely hate it especially on days like today when my 23 month old woke up with me and was crying the whole time I was getting ready for work and DH rocked her to try to get her to go back to sleep. He says she always stops about 5 minutes after I leave, but it breask my heart and I have cried on the way to work some days because of it. FOr you it sounds like he is just adjusting to the full time thing and having a hard time with it. Spend as much quality time with him as possible and don't beat yourself up about it. It is very hard to leave those babies, but sometimes it has to be done. Be sad, but don't feel quilty. At least you are lucky enough to have family watching him instead of a daycare.

    Answer by aeneva at 6:58 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • Someone said that guilt is for murderers and not moms. I agree that that is the way it should be. However, guilt seems to be built into us moms. No matter what we choose to do, we feel like we're not doing it right and we have SO many decisions to make nowadays! Breastfeed or bottlefeed? Work or stay home? Public school or homeschool? It never ends and to top it all off, there is a never-ending supply of criticism from people who made a different choice.
    HaviksMum, you aren't in the ideal situation, but as my father says, "It is what it is." You have to do the very best you can do to provide for your child. You never know, perhaps someday in the future you can start your own photography studio and be able to spend more time with your son. I wish you all the best.

    Answer by TexaBamaBaby at 8:08 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • And PS: If your DS doesn't want to go to bed because he wants to be with you, maybe you could find a compromise. Maybe let him stay in your room once in a while and you could hold him while he drifts off to sleep? Just a friendly suggestion! :)

    Answer by TexaBamaBaby at 8:10 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • I don't feel guilty. I make the most of the time we are together. Why is your child still leaving you for the weekend? If it's the only time you really get to send wtih him, I'd be keeping him home! :) How much time do you get to spend with him in the mornings? Does he have an early bed time or can you let him stay up with you for an extra hour?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Thankyou for all of your comments, that made me feel lots better :) i needed that!

    Answer by HaviksMum at 7:52 PM on May. 22, 2009

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