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Dilemma

We have my DD in a learning strategies class at school to help her because of her low test grades. Part of our homework as parents is to make sure she stays up to date on all of her homework and turns it in on time. Our DD is 8th grade. Problem- she visits with her dad 2 homework nights out of the week. When responsibility is layed on her to complete something at dads, she never does. So when I speak with my Ex(her dad), he is very passive about the situation. I cannot "force" him to be on top of things regarding homework over there, so what can I do?

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Danishlady

Asked by Danishlady at 11:37 AM on May. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (-340 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Have you asked the ex why he is unwilling to support his daughter in being successful in school? It would probably be very helpful if he spoke with the teachers regarding this important responsiblity.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:47 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • rkoloms, he has been at her school conferences with me. My Ex is my ex because of his attitude toward resposibility. So, this is his personality and incredible stubborn way. I fear he is rubbing off on my DD that procrastinating is ok. She's in such danger of being told to go to a continuation school because High Schools where we are can be very strict. I've spoken with him till I'm blue in the face. He is good at nodding his head, yes. No change though. So now, what can "I" do?
    Danishlady

    Answer by Danishlady at 11:54 AM on May. 22, 2009

  • Sorry to say it, but it is your DAUGHTER's responsibility to get her homework done and handed in on time. She is in 8th grade and needs to learn responsibility, she will not be hand held in high school. If others do this for her, she will never learn to be responsible in life. My son is ADD and it is HIS responsibility to get his homework done and handed in. Not mine and not his teachers to remind him. He has learned the hard way what happens when he doesn't. There comes a time when the child has to be responsible for their actions and middle school is a good time to start.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:00 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I think that it is doubtful that she is going to just step up to the plate and start doing it on her own all of a sudden. Perhaps a first step toward that goal is to set up some kind of reward system, like when kids are little and get stickers for doing stuff. I don't know what you'd do with an 8th grader. Maybe a points system, where she earns points for doing things at her dad's, with a goal of earning X points to get a book of her choice or a CD (nothing big). The point is to get her used to doing it on her own, and to build her confidence in knowing that she can do it on her own. Set a time limit on this, say you'll only be doing it for 2 months, so that she doesn't expect it to last forever. Good luck!
    evwsquared

    Answer by evwsquared at 1:40 PM on May. 22, 2009

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