Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If you are not married do you think the father of my child should come to the doctors appointments?

I am not married to the father of my child. I found out at 7 months pregnant that he was being unfaithful. Now that my son is born he is fighting me for everything including wanting to attend all doctor appoinments. I do not want him to come to the doctor appoinments because we are not one big happy family and in the long run when Vmy son starts to understand its going to hurt him. Am I being unreasonable? Anyone else in the same situation? If so would you let the father come if he wanted to?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:02 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • I would let him come. Why not? Or take turns taking him to the Dr. He is the father and is showing you he wants to be a part of his life.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:04 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • if you dont want him there and you have full custody and him jsut visitations then i dont think you are being unreasonable.. unless it states ti in the visitation order then your within your rights

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 12:05 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • You should let him come. Leave it up to him how much or how little he has to do with his son, but try to make the experience pleasent too. If you see that he is going just to cause drama, then maybe limit it somewhat, but if he is just going to see how his kid is doing then dont stop him. Think more of your son and not your own feelings here, I know it was a crappy thing he did to you but dont make yor kid suffer too. He is only going to be hurt more by the fact that his parents arent together if he has anon-existant father, and you dont want to be the cause of that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I think it does have to be what makes you comfortable. I know that personally I would want him there for the fact that he is the father, and he wants to be there. So many fathers dont want anything to do with their children. If you are okay with it, i would say let him. I want my child to have a good father, and people can be great parents and horrible spouses. Try to be the bigger person for your unborn child. It might improve your relationship with him as well, and then you can be civil for your child's sake.

    Answer by 2-1CavWife at 12:08 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • If he's willing to be involved, if not then it would just cause more headache for you. Also, if he makes you uncomfortable then no. You want as little stress as possible while your prego.

    Answer by casd at 12:10 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • You should be lucky. Some men would have left you high and dry when you found out you were pregnant. He is a man who (yes was unfaithful) but sounds like a good father. He is interested about his childs health. Be happy. Let him go. You only have to see him for about an hour. Just because someone is unfaithful doesn' t mean he doesn't deserve to see his children.

    Answer by 2wndrfl_btrflys at 12:11 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • i'm sorry he's been unfaithful. but he still wants to be part of the baby's life which is a good thing! not like he cheated and ran off with the girl never to be seen again! but if it really makes you uncomfortable to be in the same room with him then maybe tell him he and the baby can spend quality time together AFTER the appointment and you will give him the details on how the appt was? or maybe you can have him take the baby to an appt every now and then?

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 12:12 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I think he should be involved if he wants to. But if you have custody, you do not have to let him attend the appointments. You have to consider your child first. Isn't it better to have 2 parents involved when possible?

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 12:13 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Its not up to you. He is the father of the child. He has every right to be there for his child regardless of the situation. As long as he is not abusive to the child, you have no right to deny him that. It seems like you are using your child to seek revenge on your boyfriend. That is not fair to your child. If you want to do the right thing, put your child first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • i believe you should let him come. He still is your sons father and what went on between you and him should not have to effect an innocent baby. If your son grows up without his father hes going to feel like he lost out on something and could make very serious mistakes. do not take his son away from him just because your not together anymore.

    Answer by natalia09 at 12:44 PM on May. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.