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Should I continue babysitting?

I have a normally well behaved 2 1/2 year old son. I started babysitting a 4 almost 5 year old girl about 2 or so months ago. That past month (we only see her every Friday) Friday's have been a real hassle. They're always fighting over toys and other things. On any other day, Liam is very well behaved and listens to me and daddy. However, these certain days, mostly when she is over, I let myself scream at the top of my lungs trying to get him to listen. NOTHING works. Not even time-outs. Some may say it's because he is getting older, but when he's fine every other day of the week, I'm beginning to think it's because of her influence. I show them both the same amount of attention and we do crafts and other fun things. But when they start to get into trouble and I calmly tell them they cant do a certain something, she gets quiet and he gets defiant. Should I stop babysitting? Is there something else/tips anyone can give me?HELP!

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bailey.

Asked by bailey. at 1:06 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (4)
  • I don't think that you should stop babysitting. This is a good opportunity to teach him about sharing his time and toys. I think that you should talk to him about the fact that this little girl is going to come over on Friday throughout the week. Plan the things that you are going to do, and get him used to the idea every day that she's going to be coming over. In addition, reassure him that you are HIS mommy, and that nothing changes that fact. When my 2-year old was going through a "My Mommy!" phase and wouldn't even go to Daddy, we explained to her that Mommy and Daddy share time with her, and that it is Daddy's turn. I think that he may be feeling insecure because he's used to being the only little one in your life. If you set him up to know that he's got a secure place in his home and with you, then I think the visits will go better. Good luck!
    evwsquared

    Answer by evwsquared at 1:33 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • That's the thing. It has nothing to do with him wanting mommy time. While she's here, he acts as though he doesn't even like me. I know he loves me...but that's the only way I can describe it. We have planned days and when he wakes up on Fridays he knows its the day to see Abby. "Mommy. See Abby today!" He used to be in daycare and was a very good boy. Shared and everything. Even the first times she came over, he was very well-behaved and shared and was nice to her and to me. That's why I'm not understanding this change in attitude. He is a very intelligent young man, as I've been told he speaks very well for his age and def. lets me know if something is wrong. He trusts me and his daddy very much and if he felt sad because of her, he would tell me...he has before about other people/things. Could it be her influence because she's older? I'm really leaning toward not sitting anymore.Its really an attitude from him I cant handle
    bailey.

    Answer by bailey. at 2:20 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Is she being disciplined, too?
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 2:27 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • When he was in daycare, was he exposed to older children? It could still be a jealousy issue, and the way he deals with it is by acting out. I don't know. I don't think that you should quit babysitting. Without figuring out what's going on with him and generating a plan to solve it, the situation will just reappear in another setting. By stopping sitting, you're just going to be delaying having to deal with it. I wish I had a solution for you!

    Have you asked him (on a day other than Friday) why he doesn't want to listen to you when Abby's around, etc.?
    evwsquared

    Answer by evwsquared at 2:46 PM on May. 22, 2009

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