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Only Child?

Who thinks its wrong to have just one child. I get hell constantly about saying that I only want one child. They say, "oh you will change your mind". I even had one person tell me I wasnt a real parent unless I had had more than one. Any one else experience this.

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Amber-Skye

Asked by Amber-Skye at 1:11 PM on May. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • WOW! who ever that person that said that you is terrible. How many kids does that person have? you will be a parent if you have 1 child or 50 children! Alot of people say that a child should always have a sibling, but you know what its your life and if you only want one then so be it. Dont let anyone tell you to have another one. If you want another or dont thats your business!! Good luck!!
    Goingthruitall

    Answer by Goingthruitall at 1:16 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Well, this is a personal choice. Not one I would make, as I cannot imagine life without my sibs. But it is ballsy for someone to tell you you are not a mom because you only have one. There are 5 yrs between my 1st and 2nd. I have to tell you my 1st was very lonely until about the 3rd grade when he started playing sports etc. My oldest is now 23 and he is dating a young woman who is an only. My DD's and I asked her how that experience was. She said as a kid at times it was not bad because she was spolied and never wanted for anything. But now that she is older she wishes she had sibs. Her parents won't be here forever, and then she is esentially alone. No one to share past experiences with. I am sure there are only's out there that will tell you they love it. It's your choice. I have 5, so it's a little late for me lol
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:20 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Many times there is an extra special bond between a parent of an only child. I have that special bond with my daughter.
    BlueSaphire

    Answer by BlueSaphire at 1:21 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • people are so stupid sometimes. the only people i've had say things positively about us having only one child are those that have only one child...sometimes its a choice, other times, its not. but who's to say how many children it takes for a parent to be considered a real parent?!?! i feel we can give more everything to our one child..which isn't to say more than one child would make us have to sacrifice to equal their lives..we are 'older' parents, and having another child, physically or adoptive, isn't necessary or likely. if it happened, we'd welcome it and love it just the same, parent just the same, and be no more qualified as parents because of having two or more. next time someone gives you hell for your life, just say, ''we chose to have our ds/dd because we wanted to be able to give him/her the best of it all..it must be difficult for you to spread your time/attention/money over your 10 kids..those poor babies!''
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 1:22 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I don't think it's "wrong", but I don't want my daughter to be an only child. I want her to have at least a brother and a sister. My SO is an only child, and he was VERY spoiled as a kid. He also didn't learn how to share. It was a disservice to him. But that's just ME.
    Fallaya

    Answer by Fallaya at 1:26 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • also, having a sibling (or more) doesn't guarantee growing up or growing old with them. anything can and does happen during a person's lifetime that may result in growing up alone, without siblings. parents die unexpectedly, as do children. a child of a larger family may end up taking care of mom/dad alone due to events we don't like to think about..nothing in life is guaranteed.
    thehairnazi

    Answer by thehairnazi at 1:28 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • all the time and i hate it.
    i would rather my child have a bunch of friends and cousins to call her own
    as opposed to having 6 unhappy, hungry, brothers because i cant afford dinner for the month after rent is paid. Im living comfortably with my "only child" and wouldnt trade it for the world.
    Im not saying that i only want 1 child, but it is my choice if i do decide not to have anymore.

    I was an only child for 14 yrs, i was fine... (a lil bored at times, lol) so i know what it can be like and i understand why some ppl would rather not have just 1. but , at the same time that is their decision to make... and only theirs!
    just as they have their reasons for saying im gonna have another and another... we (parents of only children) have the right to just have the 1 and only.

    and who says you are not a parent until you have more thn 1, sum ppl have never birthed their own and must still be responsible "parents".
    StarrCooKie

    Answer by StarrCooKie at 1:28 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • My child is an only and will remain that way!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:35 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • It's a personal choice and no one's business but yours and your partner's! I have three kids myself, but I'm an only child and I was not unhappy growing up. It was fine. I am close to many of my cousins, I had friends, I'm not spoiled, I'm not socially inept... nothing wrong with being an only. Follow your heart and not other people's nosy advice!
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 1:44 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I think it's also a personally choice. One that I wouldn't chose, I have 3 younger sisters and thankfully we are all very close. I cannot imagine what my daughter would feel like if she was an only child. I would want her to share the same experiences I did with my sisters. But I agree that was completely uncalled for someone saying you aren't a real parent just because you have 1 child. I do not agree with that all!

    cynprz

    Answer by cynprz at 2:37 PM on May. 22, 2009

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