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discipline without spanking.

ok -first time mom question- My dd (2yrs) does not listen. i mean basically ignores me and my dh. She is also acting out. She knows she's not supposed to hit and she will walk right up to me, not my husband, and try to hit me. We do not hit in our family, i do not believe in spanking, but i'm at my wits end. What have any of you done? I've done time outs, thats not working. Please help me.



 
casd

Asked by casd at 1:25 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Why am I anon? I'm not sure why i posted anon. I never post anon! I'm the rug person. If you have any questions, you can let me know. I also like the rug, because it allows consistency when we are away from home, like at grandma's. I take my little rug, and it gives her a concrete place. I thin it helps her.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 3:22 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • you have to be consistant in which ever area you try. Time outs WILL work if they are done properly. have you tried watching super nanny or nanny 911 ? That could be helpful?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:49 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I've seen the show and tried the tips, your right, maybe I'm not doing it right. i just worry about being mean. But, i guess i need to be to get my point across. thank you for your reply. i appreciate it. Have a good holiday.
    casd

    Answer by casd at 1:55 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I do time outs with my little one. I actually sit with her, holding her and before we start I tell her "Do not touch the TV" or whatever she did in a low and stern voice (no yelling). And then when its over, I turn her around to face me and say "we do not touch the tv" and then let her go. I keep my body language authoratative and don't do anything I wouldn't want her to do like yelling or hitting. It sucks but you have to stay on top of it. Once you say no, commit.
    mrs_pulley

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 1:55 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Thank you ladies
    casd

    Answer by casd at 1:56 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I read once that discipline is teaching a child the way to behave. Spanking is punishment for the behavior. Difference between discipline and punishment.

    Discipline her in her good times and talk to her about how her behavior during the bad times is not good. Does she need to use her words? Is that why she's acting out?

    I have an 18 month old who started hitting at 12 months. I would hold his hand and say NO. At 15 months I tried time outs for 10 seconds and he hated that, but he still hit. So I figured Time outs are not working. Then I looked at why is he hitting? 1) frustration over lack of words to express being mad or sad. 2) sometimes, to get a reaction.

    So I started holding his hand and expressing to him, "MAD! MAD! MAD!" Gave him the word and showed him I understood. Hitting went down to 0 in 2 days. I don't know if this is the same issue you have, but hope this helps!
    lynnard

    Answer by lynnard at 2:21 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • How are you doing time out? Here's what we did. We set a timer for 2 minutes (she's two). It's a dial, so it ticks. When it dings, time out is over. So, of course, she got up initially. I'd like to say I was a great parent and put her back over and over. I didn't. I have a baby, too. So, I brought the pack and play down and put a special rug in it. I started saying, time out, stay on the time out rug. Well, she couldn't NOT stay on it! After a couple of weeks, we brought the rug on the floor. She stays. It has worked very well for us. We explain, briefly, why there's a time out. "No hitting, time out." Then, "time out's over. No more hitting." That works for us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Thank you. to Lynnard- i agree, i believe that spanking (hitting) teaches that its okay to hit. thats what i don't want. thank you- And to anon, I'm gonna try the rug thing. Thanks again you guys
    casd

    Answer by casd at 2:38 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • *think. I also think I can't spell.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 3:38 PM on May. 22, 2009