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This is kind of weird... Memory gaps?

I cant remember my teen years.
Ages 4-12 I remember with great clarity.
Ages 13-17 are a blur. I have some memory, but not much.. certain days. certain events. I literally have been diagnosed as having memory gaps during that period of my life. my doctors believe it is because of my bi-polar mania; and that when I was suffering quite badly with it, and medicated, my brain wasn’t properly forming the memories, or I suppressed them, they truly have no "real" answers for me.

So. To my point. I have been having very vivid, very real dreams about people I encountered during that time. Things I did- Things I said-and while I don’t know for certain, I think they are real events that I am beginning to remember.
I am writing them down as I wake up.

Has this happened to you or do you have memory gaps? My doctors are all in Washington, 900 miles away; but I called and left a message. Some of the dreams are really disturbing.

Answer Question

Asked by LuminousMom at 2:06 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Health

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Why don't you get a referral to a local doctor?

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:11 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I have very memories from before I was 12. I have some, but they are all of family. I don't remember school, or my friends, or what I liked to do for fun. I recently found out that I was nearly raped by a homeless man in our town when I was 12. My psychiatrist thinks that the situation caused me to repress everything that could cause me pain. My family is very close, and very supportive, and the theory is that they are the only things I felt were "safe" in my life. Occasionally, I will get feelings of deja vu when I see kids doing something normal. You know, riding their bikes to the store to get candy or playing at the park. I feel like I have been there before, and my doctor thinks it is represses memories trying to resurface.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • i have gaps from childhood... gradeschool and middle school... i have also been having very vivid dreams for a few months... i think mine was caused by being taken from my mother at such a young age and loosing my father in the same time period.... has anything tramatic happened to you...

    Answer by jaksonsmommy at 2:12 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • rkoloms - I will, but I have to get my hands on my medical files first, and I want to speak with my old doctor about it because she knows me so well. Its not really something I think I can just hand over to a doctor who knows nothing about me or my past. I have a local doctor whos general practice but I need to see a psychiatrist for this I think

    jaksons mommy- Yes I was raped by a friend but it was when I was 17 and I didn't have memory before that, so they aren't sure if that caused it to get worse. I do fear it was the medication.. which makes me scared to think what else it could have done to my brain


    Answer by LuminousMom at 2:24 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Anon that happens to me too.. sometimes I'll see something and just get a huge panic swell in me, like a certain car or a certain person or a situation.. other times I'll see something and go "Oh! Ive done that!" We went to yellowstone when I was 14 and I dont remember it, I have no memory of being there.. but I was watching a documentary on it and like a train hitting me I suddenly remembered being inside the old faithful lodge. Thats it though.. standing there is all I remember.

    It emberesses me to think I was just some zombie walking around all those years. I feel bad.. my best friend has known me since I was 8 and she says she just learned to deal with it. She can tell me alot about those years that I dont remember


    Answer by LuminousMom at 2:27 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • OP ~ I have a similar problem. I hope that the doctor you trust calls you back so you can speak with him.
    I have PTSD, BPD, Clinical depression and bi-polar disorder. I was treated with ECT and it affected my long term and short term memory severely. Some memories will come to me in a flashback and I'll try to "capture" it, but others are just fugues - like auras. My children and husband have to fill me in on many things we have done over the years, even where we've lived. There are some severe memories I wish I could forget, though. Why can't painful memories be selective? Why can't we select to forget them forever?
    I do have a lot of strange dreams, but they are usually painful and I try to forget them even though their "emotional" part remains with me.
    When I begin to think of something terrible from my past, I stuff it down and ask my husband for a good memory to take my mind off of it.

    Answer by PrydferthMenyw at 9:08 PM on May. 25, 2009

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