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How would you feel if you DH/BF/SO says he needs to take some time away by himself for a few days to clear his head?

We have been having a lot of stress in our marriage lately. We have 5 month old twins and I have NO help at all. Major mood swings also. I dont know what to think right now.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I would be thinking that he's having a very hard time dealing with his new life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:38 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I agree with the previous poster. Maybe he'sjust having a hard time adjusting---though I don't think he needs to "take time away", that's just ridiculous. He should come to you with w/e issues he has, that's part of a marriage..and if they can't be solved that way, see a counselor.
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 3:41 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • He probably does need a break, but so do you! Babies are stressful, and twins are even more stressful. When our twins were small my husband worked out of town some which gave him a chance to have a little time alone; he came back refreshed and more ready and able to help out with the babies, cooking, or house work. I also had my mom come stay with us sometimes on the weekend to help give me a little break too; it made a lot of difference just being able to go to the store by myself, take my older daughter to a movie, or go out to eat with my husband. Get some help if you can. It does get better.

    Also, I'm not sure if you were saying you have mood swings or your husband does, but either way you can talk to a doctor about it and maybe get some help with it. You know moms of multiples are at much greater risk of having PPD, and the mothers AND fathers of multiples are at a much greater risk of having stress or anxiety.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:53 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I would start coming up with a back up plan, if you already are getting no help from him why does he need to go away to think-
    I would start putting money aside just in case and talk to your parents.
    its always good to have a back up plan, it sounds scarry or hurtful but its always better to be prepaired.
    good luck mama, I hope all works out.
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 3:58 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Also, if these are your husband's first kids, he's more likely to feel overwhelmed. In addition to stress, anxiety, and PPD, parents of multiples are also at a greater risk of having depression. The first few months are especially hard, and even more so if you don't have any other family or friends around to give you an occaissional break. Twins also present more of a financial burden than one baby, and that can greatly contribute to the parents' stress level.
    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 3:59 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • i would say goodbye and when he decides to get his head out of his butt let him know you arent interested that you need a man that can be strong and apparently he aint it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • If you trust him i would say "go ahead & enjoy yourself, but next week is MY turn when I get to take a few days off, so please go & enjoy yourself as much as possible. I'll be waiting for my few days off next week"
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:06 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Let him have the space that he needs to get his thoughts together...but in the meantime, you need some time to adjust as well...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:51 PM on May. 22, 2009

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