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Should I say something?

My son and daughter are 8 and 4. A new boy who is 10 moved in next door about 8 months ago. He's a nice kid, and I get along with his Mom pretty well. The problem started abut a month after he moved in. He only played with my kids once at that point. I went to Dunkin Donuts w/my kids and he asked me to get him a donut (in front of his Mom and step-dad). I didn't even know him, yet he proceeded to tell me what kind he liked. His parent said nothing. I ended up buying him one cause I felt bad. Fast forward to recently. He keeps following my dd to the door from the bus stop and asking me if he can come over and play. Mind you, my DD has not even told him that she wants him to come. He just invites himself, regardless of if DD wanted him to come or not. This has happened so many times, and my kids know better than to ever invite themselves anywhere. What should I do? This boy has bad manners in general.

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doubledsmommy

Asked by doubledsmommy at 3:40 PM on May. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (4)
  • There really is not anything you can do. Next time he asks you to buy him something you need to say, "No, but if you ask your mom and dad, maybe they will buy it for you." And when he invites himself over, you can tell him that now is not a good time. Then when he does not ask and it is a good time, invite him over.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 3:46 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • We have the same sort of kid in our neighborhood. He is always following my kids around school, follows them home (even though I am walking them home), knocks on our door all the time, asks himself in the house, everything you have described. Finally, my oldest daughter flat out told him that he was being a pest & to leave us alone. We are very friendly with the child's grandparents (but not his parents) & they explained that this child has a history of doing this to other people. I think you should talk to the parents if you are friendly with them & explain that your children need time to themselves & that if you want the child to come along on an outing, you will ask him. You need to firmly tell the child that he needs to stop harassing your children. Good luck.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 3:50 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I told my DD that he will not be allowed over until she asks me (in private), and he doesn't invite himself. Problem is,this kid just doesn't get it, even when he's here. The one time I asked him to leave (he was here for 2hrs), I had to walk him home to get him to go. Then he showed back up 10 minutes later and wanted to come back in. My husband was home though, and firmly told him that he had to go. I guess I just feel bad for him, because he tells me what goes on in his house, and it's not pleasant. He tells me his Mom and her boyfriend fight all the time and gives explicit detail. To top that off, the kid gets shipped off every weekend to family members so his young Mom and her BF get free time. So I'm torn. It's a pain in the butt when he's here, and he has horrible manners, but it's also obvious his parents never taught him manners. That is why I don't know if the parents will even care that he does this.
    doubledsmommy

    Answer by doubledsmommy at 5:18 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I think this is a good lesson for them, actually. They will have to deal with all types of people in their lives, most without manners. Take the time to ask how it really makes them feel, and reinforce that this is why we use manners.....so other people dont look at us like that. And, they can actually take the time to teach him some manners too.

    Remember, he is new and trying to "fit in". Maybe get to know his parents better, and see if he is like this all the time. If he becomes distructive or a really bad influence, help yoru kids understand when it is time to "cut a loss' in a friendship. :)
    Hottubgodess

    Answer by Hottubgodess at 12:55 PM on May. 24, 2009

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