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Does anyone feel as though the love or maybe the "sparks" have left the relationship? What are you doing to deal with it or fix it?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:05 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • After 11 years of marriage and 19 of being together (read: 2 houses-1 is a rental property, been through 3 cars, on an SUV, 2 little boys, 4 job changes, 4 different daycares, one dog, hosted countless family gatherings, etc.,) we've been through a LOT! Marriage is work. We don't have the freedom we had when we first got together, and we've taken on a lot of responsibility. But, I know we are working on keeping THIS together TOGETHER. There are days where it's 40-60, 15-85, 25-75, but it always adds up to 100. There have been spats, tears, a little bickering and all out screaming matches, but we end up in the same bed EVERY night. I have seriously considered divorce at least once and started to make plans to leave (with the kids) twice. We respect each other, our relationship and desire to be committed. For me, the sparks are few and far between. But, the steady smoldering is constant... So, the fire's not out! :-)

    Answer by jonosmama at 5:04 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Nothing! I feel all marriages go through some ups and downs. Down is where I'm at right now. There were no arguments. We are just in a comfortable place right now. In another month maybe I'll be so madly in love with him I'll want to be with him 24/7. Right now not so much.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • Yeah I feel we lost our sparks and I feel right now neither of us wanna try to get it back. I feel like we are just staying because it is comfortable and easier for the kids. I am not sure what to do about right now. Right now I am going with it, but at some point I know I will have decide if I need to fight for our marriage, wanna fight for our marriage, and if not, where to go from there. But right now I am just riding it out. It is difficult because when you make these decisions and you have kids you are not only affecting your life and your spouse's life, but the life of your children and that makes your choice all that much more important! Wow! I think I just gave myself some advice there!

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:53 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • good answers. I guess for me it's just the frustration i feel on days when I have so much to do and feel i get no help. I'm always the responsible one who has to hadel all the important stuff. If I want it to get done, thats the way it has to be. It is like taking care of another child and some days I hold alot against him and don't even want to talk to him. Not to mention all the gross things he does is a huge turm off. In the end we have gone through alot and even after trying to break up we want to be together.

    Answer by angiebo at 9:24 PM on May. 23, 2009