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Why do people think if you misscarry you cant grieve your baby you lost?

Do people not know a loss is a loss and a misscarriage is still bad I have experienced a misscarriage and an infant loss they have diffrent feelings but women and families do grieve both. Doyou think I am wrong or right and please explain. Thank you.

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Asked by beth214201986 at 7:27 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (30)
  • Some people don't understand. I dont' think that they mean to be un-feeling or cruel....just that they dont' know how it feels.

    If you need to grieve...Grieve. Take that time for yourself and your child. It is ok to feel like don't need anyone's approval or permission.

    It may help to join a support group for women who have had similar loses....they get it. You will find the support you need there.
    take care and hugs!!!!

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 7:29 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I never thought people felt that way, but it doesn't surprise me. There are some cold-hearted people out there. I am sorry for your losses!

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:31 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I totally grieved my miscarriage. It was terrible for me. I felt bad, because I knew it wasn't the same as my friend who lost her baby after it was born. But it was still super painful. It took me a long time to heal. I have another friend who miscarried and didn't really hurt much at all.

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 7:35 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I agree. I neve lost a child but I have had a miscarriage and it was harder than I imagined it to be. Although I think the closer you get to know the child the harder it would be, right? I have had so many anxieties before about loosing my children, and the more I get to know them the more we bond I think the harder it would be to loose that person, Either way though it is still a loss and it is so important to allow yourself to grieve.

    Answer by Precious333 at 7:36 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I have also had both and while they are different, they still hurt. I hate when I see people fighting over who has the right to grieve...pain is pain, loss is loss...why does it have to be explained or justified? it doesnt. sorry for your loss(hugs) dont worry what others think hon, grieve when you need to.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 7:38 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I've not had either but I have many friends who miscarried. Their physical pain and emotional pain over the loss of the baby they carried was real. I'm sorry for your pain. Maybe plant a tree or flowers to honor baby even more? Thinking of you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I don't understand why people act that way either. I've had 3 miscarraiges and some of my friends just don't understand why I have a hard time with it. I thought it would get better after I had my son but I spend a lot of time looking at him and wondering what his siblings would look like. I say go ahead and grieve honey. Pay no mind to the people who don't understand.

    Answer by vicki136 at 7:42 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I am sorry for your loss and will pray for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • i never heard that you can't morn. i always heard the opposite.

    Answer by melody77 at 7:48 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • If you miscarried you have EVERY right to mourn.

    Answer by rhanford at 7:56 PM on May. 22, 2009

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