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Are you ever afraid of raising your kids?

A few weeks ago, my 17 year old brother took his own life. It took the whole family completely by surprise, noone saw it comming. He left no note and we still don't know too much about why he did it. I know he had some bullies, I know he and his gf had recently broken up, but it didn't seem like anything was really that wrong. I think I've pretty much gotten past the shock and anger part of my grief, but I've gotten to fear. How in the hell do I pretoct my own children from something like that? My Dad tells me he feels like he failed Connor (my brother) as a parent. It scares me so much to think that one of my own kids could hurt like that and I wouldn't even know it. It has completely consumed me, every time one of my kids cries, even if its because they are being punished, I feel guilty and scared that they are hurting too much on the inside. I don't know how to deal with this. Has anyone ever felt this way?


Asked by katskelington at 11:16 PM on May. 22, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 7 (188 Credits)
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Answers (5)
  • It saddens me to read your story I lost my only daughter 17 months ago in a horrible housefire.She was 16 years old and had a wonderful life with a great future ahead of her.The pain is still and always will be there.It is a wound that will never heal.I fill for you and your parents and everyone involved.I think of Savannah everyday all day.We have a real nice web site for her you may want to check into one for your brother it give you a place for your mind to go for a while Http;// It costed us about 100.00 to set it up.I have 4 sons who are 22,15,12 and 10 and I am more over protective with them now than I have ever been for example I won't let them spend the night anywhere because I have a thing what if the house catches fire who would get you out and my 22 year old I call him several times a day to see what hes doing.I seed u all big hugsand warm thoughts

    Answer by mom2fivekids579 at 12:25 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • Wow. That's a blow. I'm sorry for your loss. And i know my words dont do much for comfort because i just lost my mom last month. ...but i feel for you and your family. Positive thoughts are being sent your way.

    To answer your question. I was never afraid of raising my children until my mom died and now i will be raising my adopted brother (he's 4yrs old). He has been known for behavioral problems and has had a very hard life in his 4 short years. I try to teach my kids that i mean what i say (i'm a strict military wife) but at the same time, give them the feeling that they can talk to me about things that bother them. So far, i feel i have achieved this. But i have a long ways to go. Just remember that even during the teenage years, your kids still need you. I'm 22 years old (mom died 4 days before my birthday) and i still feel like i need my mom. A child ALWAYS needs their parent. the best you can do is be there for them.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:23 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I am extremely sorry to hear that!.. and all i can say is to do your best to let your kids know you love them with allll of your heart. and that alone should be enough. I totally understand what you are saying, but as much as you wish you could, you cant protect them from everything. But you as a mother can always make sure they know you love them. I dont know how many times every hour of every day i tell my son i love him, and kiss him all over even when im not to happy with him. haha. but that child might get hurt/confused one day, if not now, but one things for sure he knows mommy loves him!

    Answer by HaviksMum at 11:24 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • My condolences, I am so sorry. This has been happening too often. I have a 10 year old who stutters and I have had to really mold him to have confidence, brush off the bullying, but he is only 10. Just try to keep in tune with his feelings.

    Answer by Gigi1969 at 11:25 PM on May. 22, 2009

  • I am so sorry about your loss. All we can do as parents is love our children and let them know that we love them and be there for them,

    Answer by ronjwake at 11:49 PM on May. 22, 2009