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Cheating Husband , what to believe??

The other day I wrote a question about my Husband messing around, I had found a message on the phone him writing another woman "Love you have a nice day" and much to my surprise she messaged him back, "Thank you take care" ok, he swears it was a mistake and that was ment for me, funny thing is I don't have a phone (we use same one) there is a big difference between # and an email address! No yesterday I came down with a HIGH fever so so sick I went in to doc, and they said I have an STD, I have not slept with anyone but my husband, He is still swearing that he did not mess around and that I need to trust him, wth I am the one sick, I can't prove other than the " mixed" up message that he was messing around, I am ready to leave! The test needs to come back yet but she is treating me for the STD , should I slam the book on this chapter of my life, wait for test, or give him one more chance...need some serious advice!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I am so sorry you are in this position. First and foremost, take good care of yourself for your own sake and the sake of your children. I think "good care" includes emotional support through this. When we have that sense that something is going on we are likely to be right unless we suffer from true paranoia! I hear your husband wants to make you think you are a little nutty for suggesting he is cheating. That in itself isn't a loving spouse. The physical evidence may be the "evidence" you need. Ask your health care provider specifically if there is any other way this would have been transmitted to you at this time without a third party since your marriage. Explain why you ask for a counselling referral. You need to get your mind cleared and your feelings sorted out. One interesting thought: the return message just said Take Care - sort of impersonl, not "I love you too". There is always hope if you seek the truth. My best to you and your marriage.

    Answer by manna1qd at 8:15 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I would wait for the test, then go and talk with him about the results, I am assuming if they test him they can tell if he has the std? Ask your doctor that before talking to your husband about the results. If that is true, then accept nothing else from him but to be tested for the std. Wait for the results, (by then he will confess) This is a deceitful thing he has done if it is true. And I can only tell you my heart wrenches for you... to give you specific advice is hard, it really is your decision, if you love him and think that you can forgive him, then the 2 of you can work through it. But it most likely won't be easy for either one of you. Trusting someone again after they have done something of this nature is very difficult. But it can be done, I have seen it in some of my friends lives work out and they are still togetber after 15+ years of the affairs.

    Answer by BreakingFree at 8:20 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • if this happened to me i would let him go i wouldnt be giving a second chance but i have a 0 tolerance policy on cheating .....

    Answer by mommieofone06 at 8:37 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • personally, i would leave him. i know that it is easier said than done, especially when kids are involved but there are sometimes that you have to look out for what is best for you and your kids. if you can not trust him..what kind of relationship can you have? strained? constant fighing? eventually a loveless marriage that NOONE benifits from.

    Answer by froghopper at 9:28 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I would leave too. He is lying to you...and you are falling for it...HOW COULD HE SEND IT TO YOU when you have the same phone. He must not think highly of you or obviously respect you. HELLO AN STD...what more proof do you want? I would see if you could not go stay w a family member or throw his stuff in the front yard. GOod luck.

    Answer by Mimomof3boys at 10:29 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • um obviously if you got an STD and your not messing around SOMEONE is. I would leave his ass..and break his shit =)

    Answer by MarandaCrocker at 11:44 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • pray,seek couseling,and your friends for support no one can make that decison for you but you,it is a very hard thing to deal with but this to shall pass

    Answer by kimsboys at 1:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I think its quite clear you getting an STD that hes cheating, leave as soon as you can and dont look back

    Answer by chilligirl at 2:14 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • leave, you deserve better than a cheater

    Answer by Killemo at 1:00 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

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