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Marriage a Piece of Paper

I am just wondering how many people think marriage is just a piece of paper. I was just reading someone's post in a group regarding dating a married man. She said she didn't feel like she was dating a married man because mentally he was already divorced from his wife. She said that marriage is just a piece of paper and she didn't think a relationship was as sacred if they needed a paper to validate that. I for one know that my marriage is more than a piece of paper. However I just wanted to get some insight from other ladies on here.

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SultryLadyBug

Asked by SultryLadyBug at 3:58 AM on May. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (592 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • If he's still with his wife, and he hasn't told her, then I can't understand how this other woman could feel like he wasn't married. A lot of men, and women too do this when they cheat. They say their marriage is over. Their spouse is horrible, and they are going to leave soon, blah, blah, blah, but really they just want some ass on the side, they don't plan on leaving their spouse, their marriage isn't over, and they're still living together, sleeping together, and having a normal marriage aside from the fact that one spouse isn't aware that the other is cheating......yet. So, unless he has actually moved out, and they have both established their lives apart from each other, then he is definitely a married man, and it should FEEL like he's married too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I'm with you. My marriage is more than just a piece of paper. The "paper" is so much more than this woman seems to realize. It's more what it signifies than anything else I guess. Oh, and "mentally divorced"? WTH? Sorry, but I had to laugh at that one. Of course he's going to tell her that..He had to find some way to get her in the sack! UGH!
    boosma

    Answer by boosma at 4:05 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I personally think it's just a piece of paper and not worth the paper it's written on but that's just me. I dated a guy for months before someone told me he was really married so many of these guys have no respect for that paper either. He's been married for 20 yrs and he FORGOT to tell me? That's just crazy. I have lost all my respect for the word marriage and for him. We all got hurt in that fiasco.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:15 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • wether or not marriage os just a piece of paper to this guy involved isnt the point...its that apparently the woman sleeping with him has no respect for herself, or the other woman involved.If she did she would realize she deserved better than someones leftovers, and her saying its just paper is nothing more than her justifying sleeping around with men she shouldnt.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 4:37 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I also feel my marriage is MUCH more than a piece of paper!

    While SOME people may not value what a legally binding marriage means (men or women), the courts say otherwise, and there are certain protections afforded by having that "piece of paper" that those without it are left high and dry when push comes to shove and they do not have that little piece of paper to support their argument--which is especially true in paternity, custody, and divvying up community property when the relationship ends--through a break up, or worse in the event of an untimely death.

    I was duped by a married man for 5 months before I figured it out, and promptly, yet ANONYMOUSLY told his wife! (The internet is a fabulous tool for obtaining phone numbers and addresses!!) :o) Would have liked to have been a fly on the wall watching him "esplane" that one! But I have no doubt, he got what was coming to him! LOL
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:51 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • Agreed that it is more than a piece of paper. It is a spiritual bond for us that we don't have with anyone else. Its hard for me to explain actually. But its more than dating, more than long term dating even. Its "marriage"...lol thats the only way I can say it. Some people just don't get that. Some never will.
    MamaChamp

    Answer by MamaChamp at 8:11 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • Well the legal part of my marriage is "just a piece of paper" and before my divorce was finalized I was dating other men, but we were not living together or even speaking outside the court room. I think it really depends on the actual situation of the man. That being said my current marriage is NOT just a piece of paper right now.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 9:08 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • Disregarding the stuff about the other woman I think that it depends on how you define marriage. For me the only thing "getting married" did was make it a legal contract between two people. I had already pledged myself and my loyalty to my husband and he to me LONG before we actually got married. For me, my word is my bond, my honor.

    So yes, part of it is just a piece of paper and another part never could be.
    Xynyth

    Answer by Xynyth at 9:17 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • My marriage is more than a piece of paper... it's going to help protect me and my children and if one of us can't speak for ourselves then the other can legally do it for the other. Hopefully we know each other to know what the other would most likely want us to say if we can't think or say what we need.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:21 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • SO and I arent married, and although we have discussed it, we are happy being "life partners" for now. he thinks of marriage as a piece of paper, but of course theres more to it.
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 9:44 AM on May. 23, 2009

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