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how do you leave someone that you love even if he hits on you?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 AM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Good Question.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I feel for you. I have not been hit but the emotional connection is hard to break when it is not a healthy one. I do have experience with that. So, realize your "love" is not true love and neither is his. I believe it is possible for you to love each other for real but what you are living with is unhealthy attachment. To really love yourself, this man, and your children, you need to remove yourself from that environment asap and surround yourself with strong, caring people who will help you sort out your feelings and keep safe. It sounds like you have made a wise decision in your mind. You must leave. Do what your wisdom is telling you and true love will follow. So glad you put this question out. Remember there are shelters for help immediately if you need a safe place for you and your children.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 8:08 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • no one can tell you to leave..you have to be strong enough to leave him and ready. i know that it is easy for someone to say you need to leave him NOW. but to be the one leaving is different. you have to think of your kids..you have to put them first and think about the example that their male role model is setting for them. do you want them to grow up abusers? do you want them to be abused too? of course not. so when you are able you should try to leave him and stay with someone who makes you feel safe, because unfortnatly if he hits you he wont let you go very easily...it might take a few tries..hang in there!! we are here for you for emotional support. you can pm me anytime you need to talk. i have never been through this, but i'm a great listener.
    froghopper

    Answer by froghopper at 9:24 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Find a woman's shelter and GO. Get a restraining order. This is not love, no matter how much you think it is. Real love does not involve physical violence, emoitional abuse or anything else that brings you down instead of lifting you up. God bless you.
    sskyesmom

    Answer by sskyesmom at 9:32 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • sweety its never going to be easy. i been there and it is hard. YOU NEED TO TELL YOURSELF YOU CAN BE STRONG AND GO. BUT YOU NEED TO BE READY TO. there are shelters and domestic violence centers who will help. call you local police department for numbers. i know its hard for you to believe but THIS IS NOT LOVE OR WHAT LOVE IS!! i learned it the hard way...and think of your babies you dont want them to be around this even if you dont think they see it or hear anything cuz they really do and will be affected by it...you and your child/children deserve to be HAPPY...you can do it and tell yourself this. GOD BLESS YOU and you will be in my prayers
    melissa197829

    Answer by melissa197829 at 9:58 AM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • You are struggling with the what to do and this is natural, but I am sure him hitting you isn't all you are going through. This should be the straw that breaks the camels back. I LEFT... the same situation recently and trust me it's hard. I moved back with my parents out of state and got a job. I still love him, but once you leave you will be able to make a sound judgement. Often times it's hard to see clearly when your head is so far in it. If it is love than let him go and if it's meant to be, it will be. If not than at least you found out before something bad happened to you or to HIM. Look at your children and how they respond to you, they know something is wrong and you owe it to them to provide a safe, healthy environment for them. Good luck and God Bless... but the road ahead will be long BUT worth it in the end.
    mommy2_twins

    Answer by mommy2_twins at 12:04 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • it took one time for me to be beaten in front of my one year old son and i did'nt stay around and wait to see if he was gonna do it again,i packed all i could carry and moved into a shelter never looking back...8 years later we are doing better then we ever were!!!!!!! good luck
    kimsboys

    Answer by kimsboys at 1:54 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I have been there. The first thing is that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. It sounds to me that you need to learn to love yourself (been there). Do whatever you can to get away (no things will not get better by staying, no matter how good you are). Use any resources possible. You are worth the effort and will be happy again some day. Know that you are not alone.
    kimmie10575

    Answer by kimmie10575 at 2:25 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • You will get to a point one day when you're so sick of it that you will just go and you won't look back, hopefully this will be before he kills you tho.....
    MeAndLo

    Answer by MeAndLo at 3:02 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • how do you leave someone that you love even if he hits on you?
    Why you pack your things, reach out with your hand, grab the handle turn the knob, open the door and put one foot in front of the other! Find a womens shelter if you have nowhere to go. Call the police if he hits you. Spousal abuse IS against the law. Sorry but if he hits you now, expect worse to come, if you dont stop it or leave.
    vbruno

    Answer by vbruno at 3:11 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

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