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ANYONE ELSE FEELING SEX DEPRIVED?

I have been married for 13 years and I am lucky if I have sex twice a month!At the begining of the realtionship was only once a month!! So it was never frequent enough for me! Before my marriage I had been in relationships where my boyfriends couldn't keep their hands off me and they did the chasing.In this relationship I have always done the chasing and he was always tired,headache,rushing to go somewhere, not the right time,etc,etc. I got tired of the rejection,I don't chase him anymore,feel frustrated,bitter.Went from size 2 to 12(eating my frustration away!) Other women having little to no sex??? I have not cheated,have had thoughts about it, but I rather end the relationship than cheat. The only thing that stops me from leaving is that I love him, I always have and now we have a toddler. Other than the lack of sex, he is MR. wonderful LITERALLY!
Have tried EVERYTHING except for the only thing he won't try.... therapy!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:25 AM on May. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Girl! You are not the only one that isnt getting it! I have been with my DH for almost 7 years... married for only 1 (well almost) The number of times that we have had sex this year could be counted on ONE hand!!! Isnt that sad? So dont feel alone, cause I know how you feel! Have you tried to turn him on? Have you tried spur of the moment things? I guess I cant talk, since I havent tried any of that yet! What about going out... when was the last time you TWO went out alone together? Mine was my honeymoon and WOW!!! We had sex 7 times in 3 days! I sure miss that! LOL That was when we were alone together... we have 2 kids and it makes having alone time much harder!!! Plan a night out together or a night in... get a sitter though... it might help! That is what Im gonna do!!! Good luck!!! I hope you get some bedroom action soon!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I'm curious if you think he might be slighty clinically depressed? I ask this because mine is, and also has PTSD. We also think he may have been sexually abused when he was little and has blocked it. But he also has a fairly low testosterone level, I know what you mean about going for weeks/months without, but then his interest peaks and it's like OMFG!! Sorry...that was last night, lol
    So now I'm back to wondering how long it's going to be til next time. Awhile back I did some research and found out that the mineral boron is one of the things that mens bodies use to make testosterone. I went and bought some for him, he's not much into vitamins so getting him to take it is sometimes a problem.
    I know it bothers him greatly that he's not 'taking care of me' as he puts it. If it seems like yours is avoiding you, maybe he feels bad but doesn't know what to do about it. I'm in a group on here for that very subje
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 8:11 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • No you're not alone. I'm frustrated and can't do anything about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:12 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • subject...sorry, ran out of room. Please feel free to go to my page and find the group link.
    One thing that I try to keep telling my dh is that , ok this could be a bit TMI for some. But that there are alot of ways for two people to be able to satisfy each other that doesn't involve intercourse.
    Even though you've been patient with him and if you're like me I suspect there have been some fights over it too? We've had some doozies believe me! Like you said, other then the sex you two seem to have a good thing going? I'd stick with it...anything worth having is worth fighting for.
    Good luck if nothing else, I hope it helps to know you aren't alone in this.
    daisy521

    Answer by daisy521 at 8:16 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I really and I mean REALLY appreciate all of your support, because I do feel like I am trapped!
    Thank you so much for taking the time!
    For those of you wondering...when I said I have tried everything, I mean everything! Going out the two of us,flirting,getting naked and many other things that of course will not make you blush by explaining in detail. The problem is not having a toddler, the problem has been here from the begining. As far as his testosterone level, it is fine and I know this because he had some tests done at the urologist! I am really at a loss, I don't have a clue of what to do other than therapy but he just won't! After all these years, he thinks we can work it out and he tries maybe a week and then we fall off the wagon! I believe you CAN NOT change anyone, he didn't lie to me, he was this way from the begining and I knew it....I just chose all his wonderful qualities over sex! (Continue)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • Sorry...ran out of lines! The only thing that bothers me and I have wondered many,many times....is he gay??? I feel bad having this thoughts but I had never met a man like this! I have asked and he denies, I don't want to continue to ask so he tries to proove me wrong by having an affair with another woman or so!
    Anyway, I do thank you so much for at least showing me that I am not alone...I was feeling like I was just a very weird case.
    To all of you out there like me....I am sorry for you and for me...I know the rejection, I know the frustration and I know the emptyness!
    Take Care!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I'm married 13 years and had same problem. Talked and talked and finally said I was thinking of leaving if he did not take action, he went to M.D. and is trying. I have also taken a step back and not being so upset about it and gave him time. He did nort want to lose relationship so things are improving with LOVE and UNDERSTANDING.
    writeon

    Answer by writeon at 3:48 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Been married 27 years today and haven't had sex with him for 7 years. His choice. Will not go to the doctor or anything to try and change it. I did have a brief affair in the past 6 months and it made me realize what I was missing, but I would not advise that. I was the one hurt in that situation and now I have to live with that decision. Hubby knows about the affair and we may never get a relationship back because of what I did even though he says he still loves me. Don't chance it unless you want to possibly pay the ultimate price.
    teacherspet_too

    Answer by teacherspet_too at 4:13 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Been married 27 years today and haven't had sex with him for 7 years. His choice. Will not go to the doctor or anything to try and change it. I did have a brief affair in the past 6 months and it made me realize what I was missing, but I would not advise that. I was the one hurt in that situation and now I have to live with that decision. Hubby knows about the affair and we may never get a relationship back because of what I did even though he says he still loves me. Don't chance it unless you want to possibly pay the ultimate price.


    Your husband took something very important to your relationship away! Complete intimacy, health benefits, self-esteem benefits, etc. He should understand why you would "stray!" He should be able to deal with it, ESPECIALLY if you are supposed to deal with 7 years of no sex and him not working on the cause and fixing it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • You've been married 13 years.. Did you think things were going to change this Year? If you weren't compatible maybe 12 years ago you should have left?! I don't know how you do it.. We haven't had sex for a year and I am ready to leave him.... about now. I can't deal wtih the hurt of no intimacy.. Good luck to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on May. 23, 2009

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