Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what would you do if your child wanted to move in with their father??

My child tells me last night that the fathers new wife HATES me and is calling me the B word. They the child tells me that they are planning on having step mom adopt. She does not want to be adopted, but does want to move in. She says the reason is they have "more electronics"!! I told her that #1 the step mom can not adopt her unless I give her up. #2 I refuse to let her move in. What would you do?? I need some help and advice.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on May. 23, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • she may very well want to move in there because they have less rules and restrictions. maybe you could let her visit a little more, but i would definitly NOT let her move in. especially if miss step mom is trying to take over. she may not realize it now, and it may just get worse as she goes through her older teenage years, but one day she'll realize you were doing the right thing for her.

    Answer by Pudge_Pie20 at 11:54 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • You need to talk to your dds father. Her new stepmom calling you names around her is not acceptable. And the adoption crap is putting false ideas into your kiddos head.

    Answer by ajguinn at 10:23 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I'm so sorry and I know that hurts your feelings and speaking from experience, let her move in. She WILL come back and realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I would also talk to your ex 1 on 1 and get to the bottom of her talking about you in front of your child. That's immature and ignorant on her part.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:23 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • Time to have a long talk with dad and stepmom and get to the bottom of all your daughter is telling you. I would also let her move in with them on a temporary basis, say 2 or 3 months and let her see how it is there, she may just be running back quickly.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:27 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • well during the summer she does kinda move in with them. She spends every other week with them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I was adopted by my step dad at 3 only cause my dad gave up his rights to me. I didn't know about my real dad until 11 and found him at 15. My mom and I always butted heads we never got a long. I am not saying you and your DD don't get along, but I wanted to move in with my real dad when I was 16 or 17 I am not sure how old your DD is, but I say give her the chance to if she wants to. The thing is I didn't tell my mom I just left then I called and told her. My dad beged me to and that was the reason I did, he said I can have a phone in my room online everything to get me to so I did, but after about 2 weeks it wasn't what I thought it would be like and I ended up telling my mom I wanted to come back home and I apoligized to her. She will find out it isn't the same and want to come back home. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!!

    Answer by mommy5409 at 10:46 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • I suggest talking to her father about the stepmother, it is not healthy for her to be talking that way around her and the adoption thing is complete BS, stepmothers like her give the rest a bad image.... She's over stepped her bounds and needs to be put in to place... If her father will not deal with the problem I would suggest going to court/back to court and asking that she not be allowed around your child as she is a danger to your child's mental health. I disagree with allowing her to move in, the stepmother is obviously not all there and she should not be exposed to her more! Besides She's still to young to make such decisions....

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • First of all the step needs to respect you. and stop calling you names. talk to y for a whileour ex. and tell him to tell the stepmom that the step mom needs to respect you as an adult .And if the only reason is the eletonics that she wants to move out . just say oh well thats just to bad. You'll just have to goto your dads and play there and if thats not enough tell her to ask her dad for some eletronics games for her birthday and at christmas.


    Answer by incarnita at 11:09 AM on May. 23, 2009

  • children aren't allowed to choose who they want to live with, the judge makes that decision. I think they are doing what's called Parental Alienation. It's not good at all. Maybe talk to your attorney.

    Answer by heatherann0221 at 1:31 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • when i confronted with that i let her go. she was 10 and they had more fun at dads house---every other weekend. she stayed a week, they did not have fun and she come home. so let her taste life with dad and sm and she will find out that she loves being home with you

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on May. 27, 2009