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I have caught my grand daughter with her hand down the front of her pants many times she is 10

She was placed in my care by DHR d/t her mom's boyfriend being known drug abuser/seller/maker. My daughter was not on heavy drugs but had an addiction to Ambien ,she owned her own business had another job lost both d/t BF. My daughter took her life 3 months ago the dad has not been in the picture for 5 years. My problem is that my grand daughter has been caught many times with her hand down the front of her pants,becomes very upset when talked too about this.Do you think this is just a phase or something bigger.Please help me with this...Thanks

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on May. 23, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (12)
  • It is realy had to say it is normal for them to do it. You have to tell her she can do it in her room by herself. It feels good that is why she is doing it of course but she needs to learn when it is appropriate(in her room by herself) and when someone comes in she needs to stop. If you think it is something more then have her talk to someone. But I think it is just normal
    IMAMOM2-2KIDS

    Answer by IMAMOM2-2KIDS at 1:08 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • I do think it's normal in a normal family enviorment, but if he mom's boyfriend lived of was around her alot and made,sold, and distributed drugs there is a good chance that he might have touched her inappropriately. If she is having a hard time talking about it, get her in counseling and let her know that you are not mad at her you just want to talk about her going through puberty and good and bad touching. Good luck!
    geminisummerz

    Answer by geminisummerz at 1:14 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • I agree with both of the above comments but would like to add.... it might be a good question to ask her doctor with her out of the room. Or maybe you could call and speak to a nurse.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • I would definitely try to find a good child psychologist. By good I don't mean expensive. I took my son to one that he enjoyed going to because he sat and played games, didn't just talk. If you find someone and you can't afford it , they may offer a sliding scale. It never hurts to ask. You want to make sure its someone she feels comfortable with. Most likely a female.
    Its important to do this asap, don't wait until she gets older. It may make the problems worse.
    Good Luck!
    lilpunk77

    Answer by lilpunk77 at 2:32 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • It's completely normal for a 10 yr old to do that. Just tell her that it is ok but she needs to do it in private. It is part of puberty. Don't freak out. She could also have an yeast infection, take her to the doctor and get her checked out.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:58 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Ask her if everything is allright because you've noticed her hands down her pants and just wanted to make sure she was allright. If she says everything is fine then tell her to do that in her room nicely.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:48 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Id take her to a counselor if shes not already not only about the hands down the pants thing but also everything thats going on in her life ! thats alot for a little girl what shes doing might be normal idk but id just bring it up to the counselor if i were you
    masonsmommii

    Answer by masonsmommii at 1:40 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • You said her hand was in her pants but you didnt say what she was doing. Masterbating? Well thats normal as a child enters puberty. Scratching? It could be a yeast infection. Just sitting there? Men do this all the time, its comfortable I assume.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • it maybe a phase but it probably wont hurt to talk to her doctor about it and see what she says i have a 10year old girl and just found out about 2years ago her real father mess with her on one of his vist not to say anything thing like that has happen to her but u can never be so sure so talk to her doctor let her know and see what she has to say about it ok and good luck god bless u both
    Naline

    Answer by Naline at 1:51 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • It is very normal at her age to touch & explore. Talk to her about privacy & appropriate behavior in public. She just might not have learned from her troubled parents that sexual activity is not public behavior. When you talk if she indicates that there is anything more to it you can look into having her talk to someone, but don't make that assumption based on the fact that she is touching herself.
    nysa00

    Answer by nysa00 at 4:38 PM on May. 24, 2009

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