Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What do I do about my irresponsible 10 yo??? Help!

Ok, my 10 year old is CONSTANTLY irresponsible with things. Today we just found out that he possibly lost his baseball glove (which is his brothers because his was stolen from the park the last time he was in baseball) He probably left it at the park again. In October he was playing at the park and he didn't lock up his bike (it was only a few months old) and it was of course stolen. Last night he borrowed his friends bike (I was unaware) and he left it outside under our stairs (older bike stolen from same spot a few years ago). I told him he was SO lucky that it wasn't stolen too! I am at a loss. I have no clue what to do. I told him that if the glove doesn't turn up, he will sit and watch every game/practice but I am not spending the money on a new one. I would have bought his own but we are financially strapped right now which is why he is using his brothers. Any ideas? I can't afford to pay for his irresponsibility!

Answer Question
 
lilpunk77

Asked by lilpunk77 at 1:46 PM on May. 23, 2009 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (24 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I think you're doing the right thing. Ten year old's in general aren't the most responsible people so he sounds pretty typical. I think learning the real world consequences of his irresponsibility will teach him more than anything.


    So many kids just expect to get stuff... the line between want and need is so blurry for this generation. He doesn't need to play baseball. Hopefully not being able to for a while will help him remember to take care of his stuff.

    MAUREEN55

    Answer by MAUREEN55 at 1:50 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • well he is 10 and it happens.i think ur taking the right steps in punishment and everything because he'll learn.he has to learn how to take responsibility for his stuff and i think with the road your taking he will.because i know he doesnt wanna sit and watch every game and practice eventually hell realize.
    Desi2Sweet

    Answer by Desi2Sweet at 1:54 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Then don't. He has to learn that HE is responsible for lost or stolen things that HE was sopposed to be taking care of. If you keep replacing things he'll never really understand how important it is to take care of them.
    flowerchid72

    Answer by flowerchid72 at 1:54 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Thank you so much for the advice. I guess I just feel that I may be doing something wrong because it keeps happening. I didn't buy him a new bike because he understood that its gone because he didn't use the lock that he had.
    I just feel that he still isn't getting it.
    I don't want his team to suffer either though, he is the 1st baseman! Grrr
    lilpunk77

    Answer by lilpunk77 at 2:27 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Natural consequences. If he looses something, he has to live without it or figure out how to handle it. When he tells you of something he did or lost, calmly ask him "what are YOU going to do about it? Then let HIM figure it out. Stay out of it and let the natural consequences show up.
    momjs

    Answer by momjs at 6:59 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • i would be doing the same thing. from now on though, anytime he leaves anything anywhere make sure he hears you say how important it is for him to do things like lock the bike, or remember to take things back home. or even not to take them at all. sometimes we just have to learn by experience. if we leave something, it might not be there when we go back, etc.
    m4m4

    Answer by m4m4 at 6:57 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • You have to let him feel the consequences of his own actions. So if he forgets his lunch money, don't take it to him. If he forgets his homework, he has to deal with his teacher, not you. I would make him do chores or save his birthday money to buy his brother a new mitt. I wouldn't remind him, I wouldn't yell, I would just say sorry about that when something happens. It isn't your fault, so don't provide a solution. I wouldn't have let him borrow the glove in the first place, but I understand with being on a team there are certain responsibilites that go along with that, that affect the whole team, as he should too. So when the team gets upset that he can't play, then again its a consequence he will have to deal with. At ten its normal behavior, but he will get it right, just like we all do. Most learn best by experience, we do stupid things sometimes but then we remember not to do that again!
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 8:21 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • He needs to learn consequences. I know it's hard because he's still so young and you don't want him to miss out on anything, but you have to nip this stuff in the bud because once he's set in his habits it will take a miracle to change him! Teach him accountability and responsibility while he is still able to be molded.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 9:19 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • it's your fault for not properly teaching your children responsibility. there are parenting books you can purchase or borrow from the library.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on May. 26, 2009

  • Thank you so much everyone for all the awesome advice!

    Funny how the only ignorant answer doesn't even have the guts to show themselves!
    Isn't that always the way it is?

    lilpunk77

    Answer by lilpunk77 at 11:32 PM on May. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.