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My boyfriend is a verbal abuser and very cruel to me. How can I get out?

I am very isolated with no vehicle, or family and friends. We have a two year old baby. I'm afraid if I leave he will try to see our daughter and get visitation to see her; I can't let this happen cause he is mean to her too and neglectful. He is also an alcoholic. My problem is that it will be his word against mine.

What can I do? Please.


Asked by Anonymous at 6:45 PM on May. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • do what you gotta do but get out. He's not going to take her. It will interfere with his drinking

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:11 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • get all the evidence against him you can! Write down everything he says and when it happens. At least you will have something to bring to court with you. Just do what ever yo can to protect your daughter. Good luck!


    Answer by joleensboys at 6:49 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • There is a woman's shelter (or something similar) in every area. They will help you.

    Answer by EireLass at 6:50 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Get a tape recorder and record him.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 6:51 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • I know there are some wonderful shelters in my area for women who are faced with an abusive spouse or boyfriend. If you message me the area you are in I can try and find a home for you. You should get out as soon as you can, for your sake and your daughters.

    Answer by Precious333 at 6:51 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • You can go to the police. They will have to get the division of family and children (or whatever it is called in your area) involved. And you should check into shelters, because you need someplace else to stay. If you end up going to court, he may get visitation since it is his child, but maybe you can push for it to be supervised. YOu must have some kind of agency in your area that can help like a youth services bureau or family centered services. Keep us updated!

    Answer by Indygirl18 at 6:52 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • You need to find a social services agency to get you into a shelter and help you build a new life for you and your child. If you don't know of any near you, one of the following places can help you: a house of worship, hospital, salvation army, police department, city hall.
    For you and your daughter, please get out quickly; don't worry about the things that you leave behind; your lives are all that matter.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:34 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Listen hun, there is always a way to get evidence whether you have witnesses to testify against him or even if its just a recording of him abusing you or the baby verbaly, dont think your cornered!!! They always favor the mother.  take a public bus to a local walmart and buy a small recording device record him for a couple of days and get out and  get help immediately, dont feel like you have to stay with him, he is an alcoholic you have that on your side plus the verbal abuse, get help please do it for you baby because she does not need to grow up in that environment... god bless!! 


    Answer by mommy2b99 at 8:44 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • I live in Montana. Here a woman can simply make something up and manage to get a restraining order. If he is verbally abusive and an alcoholic i wouldn't' worry about him getting your daughter. It is often difficult for the man to take the child away especially if he is abusive. Number one stop worrying about him taking your daughter away. And start focusing on how you are going to get out of there. There are homes and safe shelters for battered women. I would look into one of those. If you have on even a few hours away from where you live they will come pick you up.

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 8:57 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • You leave and take your child with you. You have to take that first step which is always the hardest. But you can do it.

    Answer by kimsyne at 2:27 AM on May. 24, 2009