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Do you/would you read your child's text messages?

My SO says no, unless they have given you a reason to. I say yes, don't give them a chance to give you reason. It's the parents' job to watch over their kids!

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sparrowprincess

Asked by sparrowprincess at 10:59 PM on May. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • knowing the way I am...yes I would. Until they pay their own bill they have no right to tell me not to, and if they think they can tell me not too then they dont need a phone any more. There shouldnt be anything on there I cant read...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:00 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • nop i trust both of mine and they both have had cells since they were 10.. The only thing i do is i have GPS on there phones... so if by chance they went missing and had there phones i could track them and so that if there phone gets stollen maybe we could find it and who took it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • i wouldnt get them a phon ein the first placewith text messaging if i didnt trust them enough.
    but if i did get them a phone and trusted them and they started acting out. yes i would check them to find out whats going on. but if they dont give me a reason no...

    BUT i think it narrows down to GETTING THEM THE PHONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I DONT THINK YOU SHOULD GET THEM A CELL PHONE IF YOU DONT TRUST THEM ENOUGH
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 11:02 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • i would probably read them...but only cuz i'm nosy lol. i probably wouldn't even let them know i saw it unless i found something VERY incriminating.
    r_elizabeth2290

    Answer by r_elizabeth2290 at 11:07 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Yes and no. If I had a child who is texting (and who knows what technology is available ten years from now) I would reserve the right to scroll through and randomly read texts from time to time. My child, my phone, my money that pays for the phone...my right. This doesn't mean I will do this every night. But occassionally I will scroll and read a few. I would be honest with my child about he deal and how it works. Nothing should be on there that you would be embarassed or not happy about an adult reading it. You are a child, my child. So my child will live with the safety rules I set. And no deleting texts. I will check that. I delete and purge. I want to know what is being sent and what came to my child. Again, not every day but random checks. Privacy to a point but I refuse to be stupid about the realities of texting and the dangers kids have. Reduce the odds for more trouble than what my child can handle.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:23 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • just ask if you can read them...and if they say no ask if there is anything theyd like to share about it. if its a matter of personal space then id understand, but at any point in time if you feel like you deserve to know then look at them WITH the child. that way you can discuss what you find and how you feel about being out of the loop in their lives. theres always opportunity for trustworthy children to stumble a bit and get in over their heads, we all do it. as a parent you should do what you can to protect them, theyll appreciate it when theyre older. hope it helps!
    FoxyRoxyMommy

    Answer by FoxyRoxyMommy at 11:27 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • the whole discussion is an "in theory" thing for us right now. neither child has a cell phone, nor a need for one. We just know it's inevitably in the future and want to get on the same page before the time comes. Thanks for the great input! Keep it coming...
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 11:31 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • Both of my girls have their own phones. I reserve the right to pick up and scroll thru the text messages. I dont read the whole conversations as I would be sitting there for days. They have anywhere from 2000-3000 text messages a day. I have the number one rule that if I find they are texting during school hours they get it taken away. They are at school to learn. Plus its school policy not to use phones in class. But I will scroll thru their messages from time to time. They dont complain. I also have passwords to their Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, and any other things they are using on their computers.
    savkelchr3

    Answer by savkelchr3 at 11:31 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • I would let them have their privacy as long as I trust them. IF they would have given me a reason not to trust, then they wouldn't have texting as an option on their phone.

    But those situatiosn are years away from my family...thank god!!!
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:47 PM on May. 23, 2009

  • My kids won't have a cell phone to text on until they can pay for it themselves. IF they did for some crazy reason, I'd be checking their messages...just like I'd be checking internet. Everything that goes on in your child's life is your business.
    ReneeK3

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 8:56 AM on May. 24, 2009

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