Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

To adopt or to adopt that is the question...

I am a SAHM/college student (education major) and my DH is in the PhD program and is also a teacher’s assistant. We do not make a lot of money but he is 36 and wants to have one more and after the birth of our son I am not able to have any more children. I love the idea we have a 1 year old now and we know we have more love to give. However we won’t be making any money for the next few years. We were last year temporary guardians to two beautiful children for 6 weeks and loved it A LOT! I have contacted our DES office about adopting a foster child, maybe an older one 5-6, but now I am getting cold feet because we don’t make a lot of money and I think that the agency may think we are nuts for applying considering our finances. We don’t own a house but we do have a nice apartment and a newer car. So should we go for it and face possible rejection or continue waiting even though we want an other child desperately.


Asked by Sarahedger at 12:14 AM on May. 24, 2009 in Adoption

Level 8 (269 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • LOL being rich is NOT a plus when it comes to adoption. I can promise you - I know MANY adoptive families - NONE rich - some (myself included) on the LOW end of the income bracket.

    Answer by AAAMama at 10:29 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • You don't need that much money to adopt a foster child. In fact, you will likely get money to help raise them. I think it's an amazing thing to do. If my husband would agree I would love to do it.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • You don't have to make a lot to adopt. In standard homestudies, they'll examine your finances & they DO want to make sure you can support yourself without "needing" the subsidy to help make ends meet. If you have a financial plan & are able to support your existing family until there is an income again - they'll see that because you'll make sure to tell them.

    If you feel like you're supposed to add to your family - Go for it - don't wait! The process via the state DOES take some time, the sooner you start, the sooner it's completed!

    Older children & children with special needs (that is a BROAD category - sometimes it means a medical concern, a behavioral concern - it can even mean a minority race over a certain age as sad as that is - it can mean that it's a sibling group & you're taking all the children, etc.) often qualify for a subsidy - but it doesn't usually start until adoption is final.

    Best of luck to you!

    Answer by AAAMama at 1:35 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Well you dont need to be rich in order to adopt but it is a plus. Have you thought about getting a sarrogate? My son was adopted out to a single male and now he want my son to have a sibling. So instead of adopting again he's asked me to donate some of my eggs. He has a sarrogate lined up and everything. For DNA reasons he's asked me of course. You can use your egg and your husbands sperm. But good luck best wished

    Answer by Thaifalung20 at 4:39 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Money's not important. How much you will love your child & how your family will accept a child into the home weighs much more heavily than your personal finances. Go for it & good luck!

    Answer by eeyoreplus4 at 1:16 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I can tell you that you don't have to be rich. I gave up my job when DD was born, so was a SAHM on DH's income when we pursued our second adoption. Our agency was concerned, and made us draw up a detailed budget and a plan. I've been working on a Nursing degree while a SAHM. Since we were able to show how we'd come up with the fees and when our financial situation would improve, they were willing to work with us. Staying home with our DD was important to us, and adopting again was important to us. We were able to do both. If it is in your heart to do this, I think you should pursue it!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 2:15 PM on May. 24, 2009