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What is the most discouraging thing someone said to you as a new mother?

When I was just learning to BF my best friend came over to visit and see the new baby. When he started to cry I knew I had to feed him. I had a c-section so I couldn't go upstairs for privacy so i put a blanket over my shoulder and got him latched on. My friend came in the room and said "You look pathetic." I said "Pathetic?" trying to give her a chance to rethink her words but she just said "Yeah." I left it at that and never followed up on what the hell she was talking about or why should thought that it was okay to say that to a new mother who is trying to establish BFing with no one in her family who ever has before! I guess I'm still a little sore about it when I think of it.

How about you?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:39 AM on May. 24, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (44)
  • Throguhout my pregnancy i have been keeping my head up. My pregnany has been so hard, i had severe all-day-long sickness, a kidney stone, no appetite and i just got diagnosed with a mild form of GD. So, its been pretty fucking hard. So i have been looking forward to when my pregnancy is over. I keep on saying "not long now till its over" and my mum keeps on saying "its gonna be so hard, its not ending , its just beginning, pregnancy is the easiest part"

    She ha been one of the most supportive. But, whenvere she says that its like she is kicking me right in the confidence.Plus, i KNOW its gonna be hard and such. But, at least i won't be in agony throwing up every hour!

    Answer by mum-to-be-at-18 at 9:47 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Maybe she just meant that you looked tired? Or overwhelmed or something? That sucks, she should have explained why she said that. I can't think of anything quite that bad happening to me when I became a new mom.

    Answer by ajguinn at 8:08 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • from my aunt (speaking to my grandmother)-
    "that baby that she just has to keep"
    yes, i was 16 when my son was born. it's not like he was a puppy or something! wtf!?

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 8:45 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • " I thought you never wanted kids, are you sure you can do this?"~ my oh, so supportive mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Something I still get told by my family members with teenagers:

    "Just wait, it gets worse."


    Answer by Silvertears1275 at 8:48 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • my grand mother said "your gonna get fixed now right?" this came from my moms mother and you would just have to know her to understand, but it was like i was a dog or something and had a ton of kids. I now have 2 kids and do feel my family is complete, but hey thats not her job to tell me what to do. Especially since my kids are well taken care of. this was a phone conversation the day I had my second child. She has a nack for saying some really hurtful things but she doesn't mean to be hateful. i think she just can't express her self well.

    Answer by karengc at 9:07 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • I had a gal who'd been my friend come up to my husband while I was carrying my baby around in one of those car seat carriers. She said "you could be so much more if it wasn't for her. She's just tied you down with a kid". It took us 10 yrs to have our first child. I was royally po'd.

    Answer by Cenedra64 at 9:12 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Oh, I take it back. When I got pregnant my great aunt Mary looked at me and said "Well, I guess you'll just have to grow up now, won't you?" I was 22 years old and had been living on my own and supporting myself since I was 17! I thought I was going to slap her...but I just smiled and walked away....

    Answer by ajguinn at 9:18 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • don't be discouraged. that comment was prolly from a single, non mom friend. the worst thing anyone ever said to me was "beautiful baby, but just give it time and i'm certain you'll screw this up too." this coming from my ex's mother who didn't even come up to the hospital to see her first grandchild born. my advice, just ignore all the stuff like that, especially from a best friend, she doesn't really mean it, she's just realizing that she can't have your undivided attention anymore. good luck!

    Answer by zansmom2 at 9:35 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • A family friend kept telling me "It gets worse, it gets worse". Heck my kids are much easier now than when I had two in diapers! She was a real pessimist.


    Answer by mancosmomma at 9:40 AM on May. 24, 2009