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is this fair...

im a sahm not by choise i just cant afford daycare. and other issues im trying to work out right now. and my bf works a lot he is only off sunnday and mondays. tues and thurs he works 6am to 6pm wend and fridays he works 11am to 9pm. when my daughter wakes up in the night do you think i shoudlnt ask him to put her back to sleep or feed her? should i jsut leave him alone? even though imi tired too chasing a 8 month old around the house. he bitches at me for waking him.. what do you think.. honestly is really pisses me off seeinngn him sleeping next to me. when she starts to cry he doesnt even move an inch he completly ignores it


Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on May. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • My friend's fiance does the same thing. He thinks that just because he works a "real" job that he is exempt from having to take care of the baby. NOT TRUE! I would not make him get up ALL the time, but it is not too much to ask to have him get up occasionally to help out with the baby. I mean a father is not just a person who brings in money, they need to help out with the taking care of the baby as well. Taking care of a baby 24/7 is exhausting too! Hell half the time its harder than any "real' job! I would tell him that you understand he has to get up for work but is it really such a ridiculous request to ask him to help out every once and awhile?

    Answer by Ash9724 at 11:33 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • I think he should be helping you outmore. It took the both of you to make her and he is there to help you raise her also. Does he do anything w/your daughter? You really need to have him make some choices he needs to step up or step out.

    Answer by raemommy at 10:58 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • This is coming from a womans prospective so I hope I do not offend anyone. But I had an emergency C section when my son was born, it was very dramatic and after only four weeks I was the one to go back to work. My job had to give me my old job back and we had to have money. My husband took care of our son from then until he turned almost a ten months and yes he got up every night with Brazen and took care of him while I slept. I think its a fair trade, even when kids are not involved. If some one is pulling in the source of income the other needs to be cleaning house, cooking diner, the works. But this does go both ways, if you go to work and he stays home, hell need to do the same thing.

    Answer by Amber-Skye at 10:59 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Your job is just as hard as him, and it's a 24/7 job. He needs to help with the baby in the night, otherwise how are you supposed to function at your best? Make a list of everything you do throughout the day so you can show him "Yes, this IS a job!"

    Answer by ajguinn at 11:00 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • Well....I am also a SAHM to 3 kids that I spend all day chasing around, the oldest just turned 5. My dh stayed home during the day for a while with our oldest 2 before I stopped working and then he would work nights, so he knows how hard it can be and how tired I am some days. He helps out with what he can when he's home. I breastfeed my youngest, she won't take a bottle, so I really don't have a choice but to the be the one up with her at night BUT even if she did take a bottle I wouldn't ask him to do it. He works hard, usually 6 days a week, 10 hour days on average, I feel like taking care of the kids and letting him sleep when he gets the chance to is the least I can do for him for as hard as he works for us. That being said, if you don't agree with that and feel like your man should get up with the baby once in a while talk to him about it and tell him how you feel.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • well the difference is im not married to him.. he helps me out very mininnum. so why shoudlnnt he get up??

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • plus were sleeping in my moms house!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on May. 24, 2009

  • He works. YES he deserves to sleep. Deal with it mama, you can always take a nap when the kid sleeps. He is correct. SAHM should not be given this type of help at night. Only working mamas. Sorry.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • personally i think ti is your responsibility.. he works long hours, now on days when he is off he should halp you... my SO gets up with the kids< well after i chabnge diapers and start breakfast> so i can go back to sleep for an hour or 2... or if things get super bad in the middle of the night.. like recently our 3 year old had a nightmare and was crying for 3 hours... he knew the baby would be up in just 3 hours and i ahd 2 kids coming to baby sit so he took the 3 year old in bed with him and i slept on the couch...

    even if you work you are still the mother, and most babies and children want their mother not the daddy when they wake up scared or hurt.. so you better get used to it...

    Answer by 2cuteboysrmine at 12:15 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • my huspand is like that too and he only works sat sun and mon from 4am to 3;30pm then hasr the rest of the week off.i dont think its unfair to wake him up,he needs to spend some time with the baby

    Answer by angelairelan at 12:41 PM on May. 24, 2009