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Does good behavoir and good grades equal a free ride??

My mother in law feels that since her grandson has NEVER given her or his mother any problems growing up (they live together) and he has practically gotten straight A's all through grade school, high school and now through college he is intitled to not have to work a part time job or lift a finger at home.
I think that is so wrong!! What is that teaching him?
Yes he is very bright, friendly -- has lots of friends and has dated a lot -- doesn't seem spoiled (even though he is very much so -- again b/c of the behavior and grades he gets everything handed to him). He is a great guy and I love him dearly but oh my goodness...

As a mother I am going to teach my sons the value of a dollar, they are going to have parttime jobs in school -- Even if they are doing well and don't give us trouble! It seems like the normal thing to do don't you think???

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:09 PM on May. 24, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (11)
  • I say if he's accomplished all that, then he is intitled to kick back for awhile and do what ever he wants. You say he went to college or is in college than he will get a job and have to work eventually, I think you should give him a break, graduation high school can be a very stressful time and than to go on to college that's great!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • My sister feels that since her son has gone through her drug addiction with her and now she's in recovery, all the while he's been an honor student, been accepted to an awesome college, that he shouldn't have to work. She thinks if he works now he won't want to go on to college once he starts making money. I told her he needs to learn responsibility and the value of a dollar.. What do I know, I have worked since I was 14, and my Husband has been self employed for the past 19 yrs and very successful,lol... Who knows, I just decided to let her make the mistake, and learn from it....

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:20 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I hear you Mrs. LeftLane!!

    I worked since I was 14 as well all the way up until I had my first child at 27. It was just how I was raised: You want something you have to work for it!

    It's what I am used to.

    Answer by BSFreeMama at 12:24 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • He is working toward it . Soon enough he will be working for it lol.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:28 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I think he should be taught how to take care of himself when MIL or whoever helps him are not around. He needs to learn how to clean after himself... cuz I tell you this, if he ever gets married wifey is not going to like picking up after what looks to her, an lazy, good for nothing, selfish husband. Also working part-time while going to college is a great idea and helps built a sense of responsability and apperciation for what he has. I'm afraid if this continues he will not know either of these things and take them for granted. In the long run, this will only hurt him!

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 12:36 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • It takes a lot of work to do well. School requires dedication, home work, etc. I had good grades, got scholarships and never had to work. My older brother didn't do well so had to work for more. We are both well rounded people with good lives and have not been in any trouble as adults. I think each person needs a different path because they learn differently. some people have to go through rough spots to appreciate life and others can watch the mistakes of others and learn.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • If she doesn't teach him something then he is going to get a swift kick in the butt from the real world when he is done with college. My husband was an all A/B student and got a 1300 on his SAT's but his parents never taught him anything. At the age of 18 he had his car repossessed because he was never taught how to handle his money. He still can't do it. I have to pay all the bills. When he did move out his elect. and gas were constantly getting turned off and he would spend to much on crap and not save enough for gas and bills. I will NEVER let that happen to either one of my kids. They will both have part-time jobs I will always take care of their needs while at home but they will pay for their own luxury items.(dates, extra clothes, cell phone, car payments or car ins. if they use my car) I want them to not only be educated in their field of choice but also in how the world works and how to budget their income.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 1:17 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • When I do well and work and earn a performance bonus, I still have a house to clean and dinner to cook. Tell your MIL that she raised her kids her way and you get to raise your kids your way.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:00 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • No. I have 2 honor roll students and they work pt and they have chores around the house. When they go to college they'll have to work pt, we won't be helping out financially. We are raising them to be hard working, responsible men and not wussy boys.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • Is he still in college? If so, I don't think it is a huge deal. Some parents want their kids to focus on school and feel they have the rest of their lives to work. He may have a harder time adjusting to reality but it may benefit him in other ways. You say he doesn't act spoiled so maybe it will work out

    Answer by TanyaR1024 at 2:29 PM on May. 24, 2009

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