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My husband of 4 years,wants to get seperated

and its all my fault i got absorbed with my w2 kids,and didnt pay any attention to him.But i love him and would like to work things out.he says he loves me,but were totally disconnected.he doesnt want to try at all,What do i do????should i give up?????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on May. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • If he has already given up then there maybe no changeing his mind. Talk with him and find out where he is at. Good luck i hope everything works out for you two.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:55 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • IF THERE STILL LOVE THERE, NEVER GIVE UP. WE MOMS SOMETIMES DO GET ABSORBED IN OUR KIDS, BUT HE SHOULDN'T FEEL THREATENED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE OF IT. HE SHOULD FEEL GOOD THAT YOU ARE A GOOD MOTHER TO HIS KIDS. TALK TO HIM EXPLAIN THE STRAIN YOU ARE UNDER WITH THE KIDS,. IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO TRY AT ALL THEN THERE IS SOMETHING MISSING WHEN HE JUST WANTS TO GIVE IT UP.
    older

    Answer by older at 3:56 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I don't think it was all your fault. if he is not willing to work things out, then you paying more attention to the kids, which by the way is how it should be, is not all there is to the story. He must be feeling other things or having an affiar if he can't handle the fact that you have kids and take care of them.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 3:56 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • Now is better than later. Four years stinks, fourteen years stinks more. If he is getting out, then get him out before he does any more harm to your self esteem and that of your babies.
    LeftBrainy

    Answer by LeftBrainy at 4:01 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I'm not sure if we're entitled to answer such a question because i have a comment that i would like to say but i'm afraid to offend you or your husband.
    khmymommi

    Answer by khmymommi at 4:15 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • separation doesn't mean giving up. It only means stepping back and regrouping to be able to see things clearly and fix what needs to be fixed. I'm all for separations. I think they make relationships stronger. Make him miss you and the kids.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:16 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • go right ahead kh,and say what u feel.I did ask the question.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • My advise is to tell him that you are totally committed, and want to work through all of your issues (if that is indeed true). Admit to him that you have messed up in the past, and you want to work on being the wife that he needs.
    I am against divorce, other than for the reasons stated in the Bible. However, if he's not willing to work through issues, you can not force him to stay married to you. Tell him that if he wants out, he can go, but that your home will not be a revolving door. You don't want to be a woman who becomes a doormat simply because you feel guilty over past decisions in which he can not forgive.
    beccare2000

    Answer by beccare2000 at 4:25 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • becare i have told him exactly what u said.I also begged him,to please lets work our marriage out.i to am against divorce hes not he doesnt care right now.We have 2 small children.he said i cant force him to stay and i cant.I feel sooo lost for this isnt why i married.He said were disconnected and that issue cant be resolved.But to me it can.Ughhh im crying what a mess i am
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:34 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • Oh, Honey, my heart aches for you! I am so sorry you're going through this! I am a Christian, so any advise from here that I would have for you would come from a Christian perspective. PM me if you'd like to talk with me further. I'd love to be there for you, as much as I can.
    beccare2000

    Answer by beccare2000 at 4:44 PM on May. 24, 2009

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