Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I dont know what to do

I am so emotionally drained. My husband keeps making bad choices.... on a business trip he took money out on a credit card to gamble after we had a conversation that he would not do that. He has also gambled on previous trips and not told me about it until I found out through the credit card statements. But most recently I found him searching online through photos of a girl that is a friend. He did it late at night right before bed so I can only assume that he is getting off on it. He used to search porn but stopped when I became aware of it and was upset. But this is different because I know this girl. I am loosing trust every day. I feel so detached from him. We have a beautiful family and have fun with our children but our marriage has had more downs than ups and I feel like a fool. I truly want what is best for my kids but I don't know how to fix this marriage.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:50 PM on May. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • thats terrible. You know staying in a marriage is not always what best for the children in the home. It's better they be around happy parents not ones who fight all the time or who are angry all the time... Ya know? Do you believe in counseling? Have you tried maybe cancelling the credit cards? just keeping yours.

    Answer by firethearson at 5:54 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • You probably can't fix this alone. You and your husband need to sit down and talk with a neutral third party, like a clergy person or couples counselor.
    Good luck to you, and I hope that you both get the help that you need.

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:55 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • He has an addiction and needs counseling. People can be addicts for many reasons and sounds like hes addicted to what he cant have. A friend of mines best friend had a huge gambeling problem and was in serious debt and know one had any idea until she passed away. He needs to toalk to someone to find out why hes doing the things hes does and find a way to control it. You married for better or worse so nows your worse... If he wont go to counseling then tell him he has left you no choice but to leave and leave. I am not saying divorce just leave for a while. If he loves you it will be a wake up call for him and he will fix the problem. It took me leaving to fix my marriage. It works. You cant make it easier for him and he needs to know your serious. Good luck,

    Answer by desperateat48 at 6:01 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I stay at home with our two children and don't know what I would do if I left. I have threatened divorce so many times that it no longer is a threat. We have been in counseling earlier this year but the counselor just emphasized our communication skills and did not really address his issues.

    So I guess I'm going to ask him to leave the house for awhile, and to also go to counseling. But I am hurting and really wonder that if we mend it now will it break again in the future.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:22 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • intervention, conseling and then if nothing works divorce

    Answer by sherlockhlm at 6:35 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I agree with everyone that has said that you need counseling. But before anything else, you need to take some time to yourself. Being a mother, SAHM or working, is the hardest job in the world. We don't get paid and we never get the appreciation that we deserve. You deserve some R&R. A mother/wife who is emotionally drained can not take care of the family she has. It will do more damage than good by making a decision when you are exhausted like this. Whether you choose to be with your DH or not. After you have gotten some energy back, then make your decision. What ever it is make one that is beneficial for not only your children but for yourself and DH as well. Good luck with whatever you choose.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 6:57 PM on May. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.