Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

dad, daddy, birth father???

I have a baby boy who means the world to me of course.. i also have a boyfriend of over a year who is amazing, he's always there for us, he helps me out with my son and we recently got engaged so of course we plan on spending our lives together.. well the thing is.. is that my son is bearly going to be 3 yrs old and his real father isnt involved in his life very much... so i was thinking.. since my boyfriend and i are engaged.. would it be ok for my son to call him daddy? even tho he's not hes real dad? but then what should i have him call his real dad? just dad? his real dad lives on the other side of the country so they dont have much contact... so is ok for my son to call my finace daddy? or at what age should he? cause hes so lil but yet knows people and faces so much already.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on May. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • sure! if this guy loves your son like his own son, he is a "father-figure" so why not call him daddy? my father's dad died when he was really young, and when his mom remarried, he called his step-dad "pop"! =)
    Owl_Feather

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 6:00 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • A lot of children adopt the new husband as their dad, especially if they feel comfortable doing so. Maybe he'll start calling him something he comes up w/ on his own. Since he's so young & this is the man he'll be growing up with, then he has every right to be called dad if your fiance is going to be his main father figure & wants to be called dad.

    My best friend grew up w/ her step father & always called him dad.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:02 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I would discuss this with the child's father first. It must be hard for him to have so little contact with his son, and he will probably be devasted by his son calling another man Dad or Daddy. Maybe the three of you can come up with something that will work.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:08 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • If the child feels like calling him daddy, I see no problem with it. Apparently his biological father has no interest in him.
    KareemsMami

    Answer by KareemsMami at 6:11 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I think it would be fine for your child to call him daddy but just make sure that as he grows up he knows and talks to his bilogical father.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 6:18 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • i would let the child decide, if we wants to he should call him dad but don't force him to and also make sure that his real father is ok with that too. you don't want the father to get mad and start problems, that would be childish, but a lot of people are like that so i would talk to him about it, my step children call me by name and only a few times, the youngest has called me mom and i answered to it, but then again, their mother isn't much of a mom and spends a lot of time with them, becasue they live with her. just talk to him about it and let the little one know who your fiance is by name and that he is going to e a big part of your son's life.
    sherlockhlm

    Answer by sherlockhlm at 6:31 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I agree with letting the child decide. I'd continue calling him whatever he calls him now and keep it that way until your son is comfortable enough to call him daddy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I would say yes. if your bf agrees to raise your son, adopt him as his own, and be his daddy, then daddy he is.

    I call my biological father just that. And my DAD is the step dad who raised us/
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 8:39 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • Any man can be a father but not every man can be a Dad/Daddy. My youngest DD is 25,,She call her bio father. Her sperm donor.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:55 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • Does the bio father call, send cards, pay child support etc? Did he move across the country or did you? Everyone here is assuming he's not wanting anything to do with him but you could've moved across the country..
    I'd let the child decide what they want to call the man AFTER the marriage. He's 3 so he doesn't really know the difference, but when he's older he's going to assume this is his birth father if no one tells him different.
    I had a step father and I called him Dad a few times because he was like a father to me but I only had one Daddy and one Mama. I have a friend who's oldest child is now going on to his about 7th "Daddy" that I know of, so I'm not in favor of it. Not saying you're that type of woman, but marriages fail sometimes (friend is fixen to have her 5th) and it's hard for the kids emotionally to keep getting new Daddy's.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:47 AM on May. 25, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.