Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If I stay.. how will I ever trust him again?

I recent got an email from a girl of her and my husband having a very inappropriate conversation. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do.. but it seems i'll be staying since I don't have much options. But husband is a dj though. and he invited this girl out to a bar he djs at. How in the heck am I ever going to get over this? I can't follow him around, i have three kids and no sitter usually. Besides, I don't want to follow him around.. thats not my idea of fun.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on May. 24, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Our relationship was by far not good in the first place. We have major issues and always have since a couple weeks into our relationship. But I love him, and I think he loves me.. i thought i knew. He keeps saying to me that I need to stop acting the way I am about this, that he has enough stress from feeling bad.. it's really pissing me off. He hasn't been trying very hard to make me feel better, it seems he doesn't care how I feel... just that he has to deal with it. I just wish I could murder him and be done with it, lmao.. jk....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:25 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • i know what you mean ask him about it... print the e mail/s and calmly say listen i got an email fromthis grl and she told me this and that what is that about? then take it from there? dont let him off the hook easy!!! good luck.
    mommy2b99

    Answer by mommy2b99 at 9:09 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • well i've already confonted him.. and he admits doing it.. but we have a baby together.. i don't want to screw up her life just because of some emails..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • First off... Good Luck!!! Some similar issues came up between me and DH and its been 2 years and I still have A LOT of trust issues. Even though he goes to work and home and that's it. I am always so paranoid about the computer and any other contact with any females. It's taken its toll on both of us and we continue to work through a lot and I feel we are making improvements. I will tell you that you will have a long bumpy road ahead of you but if you feel your marriage is worth saving then it's worth sticking it out and working on the problem together. Good luck and if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here.
    Nikki00E

    Answer by Nikki00E at 9:14 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • NEVERRRRRRR stay with a man because you had a child with him. If you are not happy, MOVE ON. It's best for you and your child. What if when your children get older and understands whats going on and they see mommy being treated like crap and cheated on by her husband? Then they might think it's okay for women/men to treat them that way. Don't do it :[
    KareemsMami

    Answer by KareemsMami at 9:15 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • gosh you are in a hard spot..you are right you cannot watch him 24 hrs a day he's an adult and should know better. I think you need to confront him and let him know u know about his plans. you guys need to figure out if this is something you want and can work through but you both need to want to work at it. sorry ur going throgh this and good luck!
    LuvmyFam6

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 9:16 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • OMG there is a dj that lives in the apt above me and the man is a ho. You should hear how he talks about women in the club to his friends. That's just awful. I hope your guy isn't like that but it never hurts to possibly trade off babysitting with someone and go visit him at work one night. You could tell him that you were thinking about it and see how he reacts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • you'll never get over it. eventually you'll blame yourself for everything, and you'll never feel good enough for him. leave the pieces on the floor and move on while you're still strong enough to walk away.
    bestmommyeber

    Answer by bestmommyeber at 9:57 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • he screwed up the baby's life not you or the emails. he has his free will and i hate to say this but he doesn't sound like he has very much respect for you. what is he going to do? he needs to find another job if his dj'ing gets the chick and his attention to them.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:06 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • For you own self respect, you need to decide whether you can live with this and live in fear of him maybe cheating or not. You both need to work on your relationship and agree to work together, it cannot be one sided. But your first decision is are you going to be happy in the long run. Don't stay just because you have a baby with him, that baby needs to see love between you both , not resentment and hurt. I will keep you in my prayers! My the Lord help you make the decision you need to, whatever the outcome. The Lord will take care of you!
    jlaney

    Answer by jlaney at 11:08 PM on May. 24, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN