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How can i deal with this again?

so tuesday is the anniversary of me loosing my son. every year i get so upset about everything that i cant do much at all. im trying not to let it get to me too much but i cant make any promises. how can i cope with this in a better manner? its hard but i know i can get thru this day without completely breaking down.
how? please help me out!

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Meeka512

Asked by Meeka512 at 10:52 PM on May. 24, 2009 in Health

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • (hugs) I have no idea how you could get thru the day without crying sweetie. The lose of a child is so devastating...Im sorry. Maybe try these things-I lost my beloved mom and it helps me to: surround myself with people who knew her and understand i will need alot of love and hugs and support that day, also i try to do things that my mom would like-such as visiting craft stores, I just try to not expect anything more than to live thru the day the best I can....I wish I had a sure fire answer for you, but its just hard to lose someone we love, expecially a child.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 10:57 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • sorry- also maybe think about how your child would want you to celebrate his life that day ...would he want you to cry and be paralyzed with saddness, or would he want you to try to make it thru and celebrate the time he had here? Nothing I can say will ease the pain, but I do wish you the best mom.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:01 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your son. Maybe in stead of mourning his loss you could come up with new traditions to start this year to celebrate his life. This could help you remember him with smiles instead of tears. You could start a scrapbook of your son if you dont already have one. This may cause tears at first but over the years will also bring you smiles and laughter. Depending on his age, find things that he loved or that the two of you loved together and find a way to share those things with a group of choldren of that age. Reading to kids at a school or library or organizing a book fair to buy book for a preschool, ect. If he loved to go to the park, join a group to beautify his favorite parks. If he was in school, invite his school friends to join your family for a picinc and give them gifts that maybe were something that your son collected. A family in our neighborhood lost an 8yr girl. every yr cont...
    susan6xblessed

    Answer by susan6xblessed at 11:10 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • thanks so much for ur responses...my son passed shortly after birth..all i do have are a few pics and stuff from my pregnancy..i stiill have some of the clothes i had brought him. =[. I miss him so much...i never even got to hold him but for 2 minutes while he was alive and that really upsets me
    Meeka512

    Answer by Meeka512 at 11:15 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • the family invited the little girls friends over and treated them like her own like she had always done. The girls would come and spend time in the home , the girls bedroom where they had played for years and the playhouse out back that had been their clubhouse. This was so comforting for the mother and the little girls, it wasz such a win win situation for everyone. And all the little girls parents were always welcome as well. At the end of these get to gethers the mother would give each girl an american girl doll because thats what her daughter had collected. The girls cherished these dolls, not because of their worth but because it made them feel closer to their friend they had so suddenly lost to illness.
    susan6xblessed

    Answer by susan6xblessed at 11:18 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • Trust that he is in a better place. God just needed another helper to 'help pour out the rain . '
    Never forget you had a child, but remember he was Gods gift to you, he was only on loan, and God needs him now. Be strong. Keep praying.
    Glickstein

    Answer by Glickstein at 11:41 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I wanted to share something that your question & later comment brought to mind.
    In the book, The Garden Of Fertility, Katie Singer shares a guided meditation that is constructed to help bring a kind of resolution or healing after a loss such as yours. Your feelings as the anniversary approaches & your wish to cope in a "better manner" might make this a helpful exercise for you.
    I searched for it on Google Books & found it. I was remembering a story about a mother of twins who were born too early to survive, and searched for her story of using this guided meditation, so if my link works you might end up in the middle of the segment (on the page with the story about the twins) but it actually starts a couple of pages back. And if my link doesn't take you into the text, you can just go to page 148 and you'll find the beginning. It's the section that starts: A Meditation For Encouraging Spiritual Resolution After Miscarriage.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:07 AM on Sep. 26, 2011

  • (cont)
    I don't know if that was clear, but basically the link should take you to the page that includes the story about one mother's experience using the meditation after losing her twins, which is near the end of the section, but you can scroll back two pages (to p. 148) to read the actual guided meditation from the start.
    Also, I really don't think it is "limited" to miscarriage but could be helpful for other losses as well.
    Here is the link: A Meditation For Encouraging Spiritual Resolution After Miscarriage (from Katie Singer's The Garden Of Fertility)
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 1:13 AM on Sep. 26, 2011

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