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Am I a bad mom? Should I call CPS on myself?

In the past 3 days, my 3 year old has been so awful (as usual) that I've gotten so upset and frustrated that I kicked him in the butt (not hard), slapped his face when he back talked, and spanked him with the remote he stole out of the drawer for the 100th time. I've never lost my temper this bad with him before. He just keeps pushing and pushing and I've been home alone w/him and the new baby and I'm just going insane. I don't want to be like this. What is wrong with me? I am the world's worst mother for sure. Pathetic.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on May. 24, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (30)
  • i dont think you should kick your child, or spank him with the remote. but i wouldnt say its abuse, unless you left marks on him or really did hurt him. i dont know, i personally would never do that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I think you desperately need to step back, and get help your yourself. I am talking counseling, maybe meds for depression.

    I have felt the EXACT same way. 2 books that were good-
    Help for Hurting Mothers, and Mommy's locked Herself in the Bathroom...

    In the meantime while you're getting yourself better, go easier on your babies. Its not their fault. take the batteries out of the remote, or give him an old one. Or do what i do- put things i dont want the kids to reach, out of reach. (up high).

    get on the floor, and do a puzzle,. get out the play doh for a few hours (all the way from the end of breakfast til lunch works). read books together. go outside. sunshine is sooo good for us.

    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:28 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • PS you also need to try and find alone time with both kids, as they need alone time with you and their dad, or you could even get a neighbor girl to come by and help watch one while you play with the other. i am not talking about getting laundry done, I am talking connecting and loving on your kids.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 11:29 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • This is the OP: I personally never thought I would do something like this either. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel awful. No, he's not hurt, but it's still not right. He deserves a better mom than me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • No no. your not a bad mom! it sounds like you need a break. If you have any family that can take him for a few days or for the weekend or something. Try to remove him from your temper. If that's not possible you might consider opening a volunetary case with cps. In the state of California you can open a voluntary case and get respite care or a parent partner and all sorts of other things. Just the fact that you realized your doing things you dont like means you are headed in the right direction. Dont let it go any further the wrong way. Get the help you know you need! If you want you can PM me. I opend a voulantary case for myself in regards to my little brother. My mom died and i'm having a tough time. So i know what it's like. Good luck momma!
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 11:30 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I've done it! Not proud but sounds like your child needs to really learn and fast with a new baby around. Siblings can kill newborns so never leave them unattended. You're not a bad Mom, you have a 3 year old that needs a lot of your attention. It's SO FRUSTRATING (mine are 18 months apart) but what you need to do is spend special time with the older child and when you commit to the time, really be there for him. For discipline, set the boundaries, follow through a hundred times if you have to. I was at my wit's end and watched SuperNanny for advice. Welcome to the naughty spot, over and over and over again. Hang in there, it'll get better. Sometimes the older one needs to see you have a breaking point. Sometimes they don't, all kids are different. Don't beat yourself up!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • maybe youre just waaaaay too over stressed, get a sitter go out to lunch or walk the mall for a little bit and take a break........see if that helps if not talk to a doctor
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • You don't need to call CPS but you do need to get some help, your behavior is not teaching your son what you want him to learn, and it doesn't seem to feel satisfying to you either... I don't necessarily mean psychological help, but actual physical respite.


    There is an excellent book called Love and Anger that you might find valuable, it helped me a lot. I have other book suggestions that can help, there are many that have shaped my parenting and helped me to deal with my own negative reactions. I need to go to bed now, but please PM me if you want!


     

    Collinsky

    Answer by Collinsky at 11:34 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • You're right TXdanielly. Thank you. I had PPD with the first baby. Maybe I have a bit this time too, just not as bad (I don't feel like I did last time - maybe need to up my meds?) Hubby is away on a fun trip and I'm home alone. I have been trying too hard to keep up with the house and everything, but I feel guilty if I don't. I'm a mess right now and am feeling so alone. Thank you for being kind.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on May. 24, 2009

  • I would not contact CPS. Once that door is open, it won't close.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on May. 24, 2009