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Whats a good visitation schedule for an almost 4 & an almost 2 year old??

We're trying to find a good balance with my step sons spending time with both Mommy (who's been "stay-at-home" up until this point) and Daddy.

We're trying a 3-4-4-3 schedule right now. (3 days with dad, 4 days with mom, 4 days with dad, 3 days with mom, cont.) and that seems to be working but the almost 4 year old, will (hopefully) be starting school in the fall. We don't live too far apart and we're in the same school district, so that's not a problem, we just need to find a balance.

Any suggestions?

Any success or unsuccessful stories?

Answer Question

Asked by blu_ied_gurl at 12:08 AM on May. 25, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (3)
  • what about 2 weeks on and off of actual living? and within that maybe trade just dinner one night a week of those two weeks?? less moving around for the kids?

    Answer by thundernlight at 12:18 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • If y'all live close together, keep to more or less the same schedule and don't have to switch off clothes, shoes,etc then I think your schedule sounds great.

    The more frequent switch offs are better for younger kids actually, Thundernlight, because they don't have to experience the "I miss mommy!" or "I miss daddy!" that happens at that age with the longer times between visitation.

    Answer by Avarah at 12:45 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • Kids that young don't really understand why they aren't with both parents, and when they will Mommy or Daddy again. Their concept of time is no where near concrete. It is actually better to do shorter periods of time, provided you can do that. I like what you have actually. I had a friend that ended up living two blocks from her ex. They did this
    Saturday-Monday at Mom's
    Tuesday-Wednesday at Dad's
    Thurdays-Friday at Mom's
    Saturday-Monday at Dad's.
    Then just rotated. The kids did amazingly well, and that way every other weekend was spent with each parent, but there were no real long gaps in between. So they didn't have the act out fits that come with being separated from the other parent for so long.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 1:07 AM on May. 25, 2009

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