Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Whats going on??????

On this one I wanna hear mostly from those that are 18 years old and younger. I went to an alternative school and it was focused on helping pregnant teens finish their education. Well I was 15 when I got pregnant and since then I've been trying to help other teen who seem to find themselves in my place. I go back to the school and talk to the mothers there and some of them are as young as 13 and 14 yrs old. How is this happening? My mom was a good mom, she just thought that she raised us right and when she thought she could trust me I betrayed that by having sex so young and sneaking around rather than talking to her. Had I done that I couldve been on birth control and wouldn't have been graduating high school with a baby on my hip. I feel bad for these teens that are thinking its the "cool" thing to do just because every other girl is pregnant. I've seen teens who think they are in love and it only last for a few months tops

Answer Question

Asked by mommy1572905 at 1:02 AM on May. 25, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Parents no longer feel responsible for their childrens actions. Of course there are cases like you where the parents are involved in the childrens lives, there are plenty of after-school activities and supportive adults around and still they become pregnant early. More and more these days, I see women having children as an alternative to say, getting a dog. Basically, their children are merely pets to them. They even give the children stupid pet names. They spend more time and effort making sure the baby has everything it points at because they don't have enough emotional and spiritual investment to discipline and say NO. So baby grows up getting everything she wants EXCEPT real love and emotional involvement from the parents. No real guidance or nurturing. No discipline, no boundaries. Little Neveah (or whatever silly name they have been given) has been raised as a pet but is still looking for REAL love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • SO she finds a boy and gets a child/pet of her own to get the desperately sought attention and love. Thus, the cycle begins again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think you have it--that's a sad thing. But you're right.
    WHen I was a teen,I figured that if I got pregnant I would just have to go find a cliff and jump off. Really. So I didn't have sex. LOL. My daughters and I talked about maturity and responsibility and getting an education before getting serious about a boy and having sex. They waited until they were in their twenties. We had a close family and they did not feel the need to go sneak around and get into any kind of trouble. They were intelligent and they wanted to be college graduates and have a good life,marriage and kids when they were ready. WHY is that concept so hard for families now? Why are teens not getting it? WHy aren't they making a good future for themselves? Are they just living for the moment-the sex and the baby / pet? Its pathetic.

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 10:34 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • There are 2 things going on: nature and rebellion.

    The first is easy: with puberty coming earlier, girls are being socially 'asked' to stay celibate for longer once they're fertile. Stir in any kind of neediness, fear or frustration with life as it is, and the urge to make babies is a physical force, with hormones distorting thinking well outside anyone's control.

    The second is unfortunate, and only somewhat avoidable today. When a child is the subject of many rules and many rulers (church, home, school, dance class, piano lessons, soccer teams, etc.) she will rapidly reach a point where she is actively, although unwittingly, seek control over her own life. She'll go along with a lot, but somewhere in her life there will be 'this other life' where she does things (like sneaking around, in your experience) that lets off the pressure.

    Can't help the hormones. Fewer rules plus extra freedom help the second.

    Answer by LindaClement at 3:06 PM on May. 27, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.