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what do i do??

me and SO have been talking about having more kids in the next couple years, right now we have a beautiful dd, but he wants a son. i love our daughter but i really never wanted kids, but my main reason for not wanting more is when i went into labor with dd i had to have an emergency csection due to preeclampsia ,and the docters didnt think both of us would make it. i dont want to try again and me or the baby die. am i being selfish???

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mayo9mommy

Asked by mayo9mommy at 3:21 AM on May. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (508 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • nope. ur bein human n completely normal in trying to take care of urself n ur future bby.
    i agree with u. if u didnt want kids in the first place, then why keep going? thats the opposite of what u want.
    have u guys talked bout adopting a son? kinda a compromise between the two, right??
    momma323

    Answer by momma323 at 3:32 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • No your not selfish! Ur just thinking of the past labor and thinking twice about it. Let your partner know how you feel about other kids. Since you are the one going thru labor! Enjoy your baby girl now, because if you have another you would have to divide your time into two, and trust me it s hard. I have two and juggling time is difficult. Maybe in the future when you feel ready to have another let your partner know. But, dont have other babies just because your partner wants more. Have another when you are ready.
    mommy_of_DJnJD

    Answer by mommy_of_DJnJD at 3:32 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • he wants a son cus he is the last male in his family, so adoption is outa question, i am more open to idea of one more kid, but im just to scared of the whole pregnancy and labor thing.
    mayo9mommy

    Answer by mayo9mommy at 3:34 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • I would speak to your dr and see what his opinion is on more children. if he says it could be life threatening i simply would not do it.
    gabenmikeysmom

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 6:14 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • If this is about fear: Pre-ecclampsia generally is a first time pregnancy deal. Now that the dr. knows your history, there's lots they can do to make sure you have a safe pregnancy. Talk to your dr so you can make a decision based on the right information. If you truly do not want another child, think twice before saying yes. And you have to make this decision knowing that there's no guarantee the baby will be a boy. Will he still want that child if it's a girL. Is he wanting a child for the child's sake or just to carry on the name??? Lots of things to think about.
    companygoddess

    Answer by companygoddess at 9:16 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • Talk to your dr about the risks but if you don't want more kids, don't do it just to give him a son. I had 3 babies hoping for a son for my hubby because he too is the last of the males in his family that are rightfully carrying the last name, I ended up having 3 girls... finally with his age and my health (had gestational diabetes and nerve damage from pregnancies), we decided that we weren't having a son and got my tubes tied.
    Just because you have a c-section doesn't mean you always will have, nor the preclampsia either but talk to the dr for the answers because no one here knows your medical history.
    Wishing you so much luck in your decision.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:21 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think you should definately consult your Dr if you're worried and contemplating it that much. Your Dr can give you the information you need.

    If you're willing to take the go-around one more time, I'd make sure that that's what you'd really be happy with.

    Good Luck Momma
    carliemarie1015

    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 9:47 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think you are thinking what is best for the child you have now.If you died from a second go round, you wouldn't be there for your other child.There is nothing wrong with adopting a child.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 9:54 AM on May. 25, 2009

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