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Creating my own drama.

Ok. I see this guy all the time at the farmers market every weekend and it is getting creepy. He is a mirror image of me in mind, lifestyle, and looks to the point that a lot of days we wear the same color shirt! I wouldn't mind being friends with him because we would get along since we are so similar, but he wants more than just a friendship. I'm quite happy with my fiance and don't want this other guy as anything other than a friend. I refuse to fall into "the grass is greener" trap.

Is there a way to let this other guy down without causing a scene so big that I will be embarrassed to go back to the farmers market or get shunned?

I really like the cheaper, locally grown produce there and the friendly people. It fits into our budget to go there unlike the grocery store stuff (head of lettuce for .50cents versus 1.50 at the store).


Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on May. 25, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Take your fiance with you! If he doesn't want to go, tell him there's a guy who's trying to stake a claim and see how fast he jumps :) But otherwise, a guy who would push for a relationship with a taken girl isn't so great, even if you two have a lot in common, so I wouldn't hurt myself to keep that friendship if he can't respect boundaries.

    Answer by mrs_pulley at 10:39 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • If he likes you more than a friend.. then what more can you do other than tell him that in the best interest of your relationship with your man, you can't have much to do with him since he obviously wants more than friendship.
    You must be talking to him a whole lot, on different topics to figure out that he's the same as you inside etc... sounds like he may have gotten the impression you like him as more than a friend too so just set him straight. Talk about your man often, and how much you love him.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:04 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • If he is not an employee, then start changing the times you go. If he works there, take your fiance with you

    Answer by kscmbz at 9:05 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • Question is: what kind of expectations have you conveyed to him? Is there flirting going on? How you have positioned yourself will dictate how you handle this. If you have been flirting, you can always move the chatter to more friendship type subjects and mention your fiance more. Just don't embarrass him and you should be able to keep this as more of a friendship. But here's a warning: if there IS a chance that you are attracted, then you should be VERY careful. Take fiance with you and if you feel like its' going where it shoudn't, find another market.

    Answer by companygoddess at 9:07 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • If you know him well enough to need to let him down, and you want to let him down, then cool off, back off, with talking with him. Cut conversations short. Mention something about your fiance (Oh! my fiance LOVES rutabaga! ) Smile and move on instead of stopping to talk.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:15 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • Just tell him you aren't interested. There's no reason that should cause a scene at all. Just say "Hey man, I'm taken!"

    Answer by ajguinn at 9:15 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • Some men have a difficulty being just friends. Find out if he is one of those men. If he is then you'll have to cut it off.

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 12:53 PM on May. 25, 2009

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