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Telling a man he isn't the father = protecting his interests??

I read this in an answer from another question re: grandparents rights. A cafemom said that a mother telling her son that he isn't the real father of his child is protecting his interests (she has no proof that this is a fact...) What do YOU think? I think the mother is starting some drama.

My mil pulled that crap when I got pregnant with my ds-telling my dh that he MAY NOT be the father. I got pissed and told her off...I didn't see it as her protecting the rights of her son!!


Asked by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on May. 25, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My so's mom did the same thing: told my so that he may not be the father...but she did it out of spite. I have never forgiven her. She caused a lot of problems with my so and my relationship...

    Answer by Fallaya at 3:45 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Well, if it DEFINITELY was his kid, then I would have freaked out on her too.

    Answer by Kaytlynsmommy at 10:59 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • If a man chooses to have sex with a woman and she gets pregnant, then it is his responsibility too. It takes two people to have sex. No I don't think what you're describing is right!


    Answer by ajguinn at 11:08 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • A LOT of women tell a man he's the father and they know there's a possibility that he's not. It is protecting his interests if he has ANY reason to think that it may not be his. Before I put my name on the birth certificate I would ask for a DNA test because it's hard to get it off of there once it's on and you're liable for child support, insurance, and half of dr's bills etc for no less than 18 years so yes, it's in his best interest to get proof if he has any doubt.
    If there's been rumors, if there's been suspicions etc... yes, get the test. But it shouldn't be pushed on the man if he feels it's his child, or if he doesn't care about the biology and wants to be a father to the child regardless.
    Too many women years down the road have finally admitted in custody disputes etc that the child may not be the "father's", or in a heated arguement the truth comes out. Save the time and money and just be tested IF you WANT to

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 11:09 AM on May. 25, 2009

  • A DNA test protects everyone's interest. Just saying mean things like "the child isn't his" hurts everyone.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:58 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Depends on the situation, for instance if the mother had any REAL reason to believe that the child was not her sons I totally agree with her telling him to get a DNA or whatever, I would do the same with my own son, because it all reality child support and medical expenses are insane and if a child is not yours then I see no reason as to why he should have to pay for it. We all know that their are women out there who do this, we even see it on here from time to time, asking weather or not she should tell her so/dh that the baby is not or may not be his, so with that being said in that case alone yes I agree its protecting the interests of her son. However if it is said simply out of spite or desire to cause drama then no I think its very wrong and immature, and hurts everyone involved. I had my Dfs ex say this to everyone when she found out I was pregnant with mine and dfs son

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:01 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • and thankfully when she told his mom, his mom didnt believe her, but either way even though I knew 199% it was not true it still was very hurtful and cause a lot of riffs in my home.

    Answer by hautemama83 at 2:02 PM on May. 25, 2009