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When will sex be pleasurable again?

I gave birth 8 weeks ago and I miss sex terribly. We've tried a couple of times and it's just not fun. The feeling is completely different, it feels like an extended and more invasive gyno exam. And although he won't say anything I'm worried about how it feels for him. Will I get my old/young Va JJ back??

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:49 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Health

Answers (7)
  • its been two yrs since i had my daughter natural and sex is different to me its not the same sometimes i have to fake it it takes me longer and the time im ready he is done go figure that one out lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Hmm... unless you tore or had an episiotomy (which can definitely change the way things feel down there), I'd guess it is one of two things (or perhaps both):
    1. Your muscles down there were not toned when you gave birth, so they didn't expand and retract like healthy muscles down there were made to do. Good news: Kegel exercises can help this. You can tone up down there to be better than ever (I mean you'll be able to feel things better, sex should be more enjoyable).
    2. Maybe it could be your view of it all? After giving birth and having everyone at the hospital touch you down there, examine you, and everything else that goes along with that, maybe you have an unconscious connotation between your vagina and non-sexual, medical exams. Maybe more foreplay, more mood lifting, could help bring your mind back to the sexual? I don't know, but it could be worth a try!

    Good luck!

    Answer by joshuasmommy327 at 9:23 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I agree.. I would try to get your mind separated from what you've just gone through.. I think there can be such a transitional time after having baby. We expect life to resume, schedules to resume, sex to resume, ect.. I think the key is to acknowledge things are different and find a new comfort zone together. more foreplay, lubricant/oils,.. whatever it takes to be comfortable again. Your hormones will be out of whack for a while, so don't panic. I would try to talk openly with your hubby so he doesn't take it all personally. Men don't know how much hormones really affect us.. they try but don't really get it.


    Answer by scout575 at 10:11 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • It might take longer to get back into the swing of things. Try to communicate with him about how you are feeling and be patient, ask for his patience. Also, consider using lubrication, even if you have never used it before.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 3:41 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • Are you on any kind of birth control?  The reason I ask is because after my first was born I went on the mini pill and sex was painful.  It wasn't until I stopped the pill ttc my second that sex became normal and pleasurable again.


    Answer by beeky at 7:27 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • How painful is it? You may need to see your OB (or a new one) to find out if something is wrong. I had the same thing and come to find out I have a serious problem caused by the OB who delivered my son. So obviously that office will not admit fault and I had to find a new one.

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:10 AM on May. 26, 2009

  • So you all are telling me that its suppossed to just snap back to normal tightness and feeling within 8 weeks time? ?

    Answer by jenree at 9:01 AM on May. 26, 2009

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