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If you were not welcome in your mil's/so's mother's home, would you still allow your child to go over there?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:16 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (28)
  • To the people who say "what about the child" Yeah, what about the child. What about the child being shown that it's ok to disrespect their mother. What about the child being told god only knows what about their mother what by a grandparent who is obviously showing themselves childish in this area. What about the child now thinking that this behavior , exhibited by the grandparent, is an acceptable thing? In the long run you need to take control of the influences you can in your child's life. This is one of those areas. As long as you and SO are on the same page you do what YOU think is best for your child!

    momof030404

    Answer by momof030404 at 8:50 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • No
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 8:17 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • nop, i dont get along with my MIL (because of what she has done to me in the past) and if she cant respect me then she dont need anything to do with my son either
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • No.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 8:19 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • OP here:

    But what about the ones on cafemom who say "It's not about you, it's about the child, and the child deserves to have a relationship with his/her grandparents"?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:19 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • My MIL can't stand me and has done everything in her power to ruin my marriage (10 yrs strong). I have remained respectful and continued to allow her access to her grandchildren as long as it was something my dh wanted. She is not allowed to see them alone b/c I am afraid she may take her frustrations with me out on them. However, after yrs of trouble cause my DH has seen the light and we have limited contact with my in laws. At Christmas we had not spoken to them for 4 months, but saw them at my SIL house. I sent them invites to the kids parties 4 months after that...they came, spoke little, left early. That was 3 months ago. No word since then. Giving them access does NOT have to include alone time and I would definitely see where my SO stood on this.  They are his family and that (unfortunately) has to be respected!

    momof030404

    Answer by momof030404 at 8:25 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Sounds a bit childish to me. What about the child?
    momtoeight

    Answer by momtoeight at 8:26 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I dont get along with my FIL but he still sees my son. He will call and pick him up and take him out for the day. I am not going to let my child miss out on having a relationship with his grandfather because we disagree on things!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 8:26 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think it depends on why you aren't welcome in the MIL's home. If the MIL just doesn't like you, but is not a poisonous, dangerous person, I would let my children visit. But if the MIL refused to talk to you or let you in her home because she is just crazy or a poisonous person, then you should protect your kids from that kind of person and atmosphere. That's just my personal opinion, though, I think that as the momma you have the right to say no, even if it was a personal issue between the MIL and you.
    joshuasmommy327

    Answer by joshuasmommy327 at 8:27 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • It depends on why I'm not welcome there. If they were with my hubby I'd let them go visit. They may not like me, but they might love my children and my children might love them. My kids don't have to choose between me and the inlaws. I'm lucky tho, I can get along with mine. They're really good people, but I clash with MIL in personality but I treat her with respect anyway because she did raise my husband and he cares for her and so out of respect for him, I'm respectful to her.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 8:27 PM on May. 25, 2009

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