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Is he right? NO BASHING

Just some 411 about my DH and I. I sleep with my DD and he sleeps in another room. We've been having marital problems since I was 6 months pregnant. His attitude sucks (I go to see someone on how I can communicate better-it's going okay). That said, he says it would solve his attitude problem if our DD slept in her crib and I need to wean her of needing me all the time.
HOWEVER, he never helps me with her, he only picks her up from daycare. I do the rest. Feed, change, bathe, laundry, ect...I do it all, then he complains about how the house if a complete wreck (and it is). He works 40 hours a week (and I do too, then come home and take care of our DD). Now, I've told him the reason why I sleep with her, because if I don't, she'll be up all night crying and screaming. His exact words "Let her cry", sorry I can't do that.
Do you all think it would solve his piss poor attitude if she slept in her own room and crib?

Answer Question
 
Chloesmom1126

Asked by Chloesmom1126 at 8:18 PM on May. 25, 2009 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,269 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Since you both work then you should share the work 50/50..... that means housework and child care. If it were me, I wouldn't do anything until he starts helping out. jmo.
    NicMorgan

    Answer by NicMorgan at 8:22 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think he is kind of right, she will never learn to sleep on her own if you dont let her and since she is used to not sleeping in her crib it is going to be a ruff couple of nights! He might feel he has lost you to her since you devot all your time to her! You need to learn to balance the both of them, being a women is hard work! I think if you want to save your marraige you need to sleep in your room with your husband!
    mrsmamaj

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 8:23 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • no, i think he needs to get off his ass and help you and spend more time with her and maybe she wont need you as much...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • But you never answered my question, do you think it would help his attitude?
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 8:24 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • "I think he is kind of right, she will never learn to sleep on her own if you dont let her and since she is used to not sleeping in her crib it is going to be a ruff couple of nights! He might feel he has lost you to her since you devot all your time to her! You need to learn to balance the both of them, being a women is hard work! I think if you want to save your marraige you need to sleep in your room with your husband!"

    Can't balance my time between the both of them. He comes home, eats and plays on the computer until he goes to bed. He's done that since before she was born. But, my DD requires a lot of attention. He doesn't help, I can't hold a gun to his head and force him. Not to sound mean, but I AM NOT SUPERWOMAN, so I can not do it all.
    Chloesmom1126

    Answer by Chloesmom1126 at 8:28 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • It sounds like it may help his attitude temporarily...until he finds something else to complain about. Honestly, I think your ability to sleep is more important than his attitude right now. Especially as you are working more than two full time jobs between your paying job, house responsibilities and taking care of your DD...not to mention she is a baby and NEEDS her momma. It may solve his attitude, but I have a feeling you would be finding an attitude of your own...resentment is horrible for a marriage...trust me.
    MamaJen74

    Answer by MamaJen74 at 8:28 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I agree with mrsmamaj.Of course,he should help you out.But that doesn't mean that you can't make time for him.And she shouldn't be so needy of you.
    nikkiJ86

    Answer by nikkiJ86 at 8:36 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I may very well help his attitude,if that is the only reason he is upset.If there are other reasons then it may not.Have you two actually sat down and talked about all of the issues(his attitude,what's bothering him,him not helping you out,Etc)?
    nikkiJ86

    Answer by nikkiJ86 at 8:55 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • I think it would help him...look at it from his point of view. He's been kicked out of bed for the baby. How do you think that makes him feel? Like you don't need him? Also, he's a parent as well, you should listen to his concerns. He wants the baby in the crib, you should hear him out on that. Marriage is 50/50, you have to compromise, not be bossy about everything that goes on. Maybe that's why he doesn't like helping out...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on May. 25, 2009

  • Sounds more to me like he's jealous over this new baby. I know because my first husband went thru this with our daughter. No, she didn't sleep in the bed with me, but he couldn't stand that I had to take time from him to clean and feed and change her. He went so far as to start acting like a child himself! Needless to say, I divorced his ass because IMO he should have already been a grown man. Back then, I worked 2 full time jobs, plus took care of the baby and the house with no help from John. (The x) When he DID go to work, which was seldom, he would come home and plop his ass on the couch and wouldn't move until I had ran his bath water, then to the dinner table for supper, supper that I cooked while he bathed. A one sided marriage won't work and NO I don't think it will help his attitude...At this point, I would be wondering if anything would! IF you want your marriage to work, you'll have to talk it thru with him! G'Luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on May. 25, 2009

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